Flip Jokes / Recent Jokes
This is completely true!
Okay, so it was after dinner and my sister, dad and I were at the table just kinda goofing off then my sister asked me this riddle:
There is one man in a jungle, he reaches into his pocket and takes something out, it has a head and a tail but no body, yet he is not afraid. What was the thing he found in his pocket?
I couldn't figure it out so my dad gave me a hint:
you can flip it.
I still could not figure it out.
What do you flip? asked my dad.
Then I was all like:
A coin. A COIN! A COIN! THAT'S IT, A COIN!!!
What can I say? I'm a blonde, but it doesn't count too much because I have dirty blonde hair and blonde and dirty blonde isn't the same thing.
After Christmas Tom and Harry were at work talking about what they bought thier wives for Christmas.
Tom says "I got my wife a 3 carat diamond ring and a brand new BMW".
Harry asked "if you got her a 3 carat diamond ring then why did you get a BMW".
"So if she didn't like the ring I knew that she would like the BMW" said Tom, "well what did you get your wife?"
Harry replies "well I got her a pair of flip flops and a dildo".
Tom laughs and askes "why did you get her a dildo?"
"Well so if she didn't like the flip flops she could go screw herself"
A farmer goes to the patent office to patent a peach, and the patent officer says- "you can't patent a peach, the peach has already been patented!"And the farmer says, "Oh no. Not THIS kind of peach. Go ahead, try it!" So the patent officer takes a bite, and then- "oh, wow! This is so good! It tastes like- blackberry pie!"And the farmer says "Yeah, and Do you like vanilla ice cream? Well then you gotta flip it over & try the other side".So the patent officer does and he's like-"Man! that really does taste like vanilla ice cream! I can't believe it!"So then the farmer looks around a bit and lowers his voice almost to a whisper, and says: "Psst! Have you ever tasted pussy?" "Oh yeah, I've eaten plenty of pussy!" "And you like it, right?" "Yeah I LOVE the taste of pussy" says the patent officer, starting to get excited.The farmer says, "OK, then take a bite, right there" So the patent more...