Floats Jokes / Recent Jokes

A ship floats on the water; but I'll bet you it would float on sand too.

The Italian says," When I've finnished a makina da love withah my wife, I go downa and gently tickle the back of her knees, I tella you, she floats 6 inches above a da bed in ecstasy." The Frenchman replies, "Zat iz nothing, when i'ava finished makein ze love wiz ze wife, Ah kiss all zee way down'er body and zen Ah lick za soles of her feet wiz mah toungh, and she floats 12 inches above ze bed in pure ecstasy." The Redneck fires off at both, "That ain't nothin'. When I finish porkin' the old lady, I git out of bed and wipe my weener on the curtains. She freakin' hits the ceilin'."

About Making Love...
The Italian says:
"When I've a finished a makina da love withah my wife, I go down and gently tickle the back of her knees. She floats 6 inches above a da bed in ecstacy."
The Frenchman replies:
"Zat is noting. When Ah've finished making ze love with ze wife, Ah kiss all ze way down her boody, and zen Ah lick za soles of her feet wiz mah tongue. She floats 12 inches above ze bed in pure ecstacy."
The Redneck says:
"That's aint nothing. When I've finished porkin' the ole lady, I git out of bed, walk over to the winder and wipe my weener on the curtains. My woman well,,,,,,
she hits the freakin' ceiling."

A 55-year old woman is in a coma in the hospital. She isn't doing well at all. Her family is standing by her, waiting for her to pass away. The woman is now seconds from passing away when she sees a light; and a big tunnel. She floates way up high to the other end of the tunnel where she sees God.
"I can't believe I'm dead", the woman sadly says.
"What?!", says God,"Your not dead, you won't die untill your 85."
The woman then floats back down the tunnel. She awakens from her coma with joy and happiness from the family. She thinks, "Well, if I don't die for another 15 years, and I'm in the hospital right now, I can probably do some stuff that I have always wanted to do.
So, the woman gets her hair colored. She lets it grow long; all the way to the ground. She increases her breast sizes. She also had plastic surgery to get all those horrible wrinkles off her face.
A few days later, the woman is ready to leave the hospital. She more...