Flood Jokes / Recent Jokes
There came a big flood, and the water around Bhola's house was rising steadily.. Bhola was standing on the porch, watching water rising all around him, when a man in a boat came along and called to Bhola, "Get in the boat and I'll get you out of here. Bhola replied, "No thanks, God will save me." Bhola went into the house, and the water was starting to pour in. So, he went up to the second floor. As he looked out, another man in a boat came along, and he called to Bhola, "Get in the boat and I'll get you out of here." Again, Bhola replied, "No thanks. God will save me." The water kept rising. So, Bhola got out onto the roof. A helicopter flew over, and the pilot called down to Bhola, "I'll drop you a rope, grab onto it, and I'll get you out of here." Again Bhola replied, "No thanks. God will save me." The water rose and rose, and soon nearly covered the whole house. Bhola fell in, and drowned. When he arrived in Heaven, he saw more...
One day there was this preacher and he was having his usual sermon when all of a sudden it started raining, really, really, hard!!! After about 1 full hour of complete non-stop rain, they started making evacuations because the whole church was flooding, but the preacher just stood there in the ankle-deep water.
A guy in a car came up to him and said. "Preacher, Preacher you better get in here before you drown!"
But the preacher just replied "Don't worry God will save me."
The man then said "Whatever!" and drove away.
The water was now knee-deep and a guy in a raft came over to the Preacher and said "Preacher, Preacher you better get in here before you drown!"
Despite the second warning the Preacher just stood there and replied "Don't worry God will save me."
The man then said "Whatever!!" and rowed away in the orange raft.
The water was now waist-deep and a guy in a power boat came to the Preacher more...
And the Lord spoke to Noah and said: "In six months I'm going to make it rain until the whole earth is covered with water and all the evil people are destroyed. But I want to save a few good people, and two of every kind ofliving thing on the planet. I am ordering you to build Me an Ark." And in a flash of lightning he delivered the specifications for an Ark. "OK," said Noah, trembling in fear and fumbling with the blueprints. "Six months, and it starts to rain," thundered the Lord. "You'd better have my Ark completed, or learn how to swim for a very long time." And six months passed. The skies began to cloud up and rain began to fall. The Lord saw that Noah was sitting in his front yard, weeping. And there was no Ark. "Noah," shouted the Lord, "where is my Ark?" A lightning bolt crashed into the ground next to Noah." Lord, please forgive me!" begged Noah. "I did my best. But there were big problems. First I more...
A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean sitting side by side. The lawyer said, ‘’I'm here ’cause my house burned down and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything.'’ ‘’That’s quite a coincidence,'’ said the engineer, ‘’I'm here ’cause my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything.'’ The lawyer pondered the engineer’s plight for a moment and, looking somewhat confused, asked, ‘’How do you start a flood?'’
And the Lord spoke to Noah and said, "In six months I? m going to make it rain until the whole earth is covered with water and all the evil people are destroyed. But I want to save a few good people, and two of every kind of living thing on the planet. I am commanding you to build an Ark."
And in a flash of lightning, He delivered the specifications for an Ark.
"Okay," said Noah, trembling with fear and fumbling with the blueprints.
"Six months, and it starts to rain," thundered the Lord. "You? d better have the Ark completed, or learn to swim for a very long time."
Six months passed, the skies clouded up and rain began to fall. The Lord saw that Noah was sitting in his front-yard, weeping. And there was no Ark. "Noah," shouted the Lord, "Where is the Ark?"
"Lord, please forgive me!" begged Noah. "I did my best. But there were big more...
Noah's Ark... If it happened in 2000And the Lord spoke to Noah and said "In six months I'm going to make it rain until the whole earth is covered with water and all the evil people are destroyed. But I want to save a few good people, and two of every kind of living thing on the planet. I am commanding you to build an Ark." And in a flash of lightning, He delivered the specifications for an Ark, "Okay," said Noah, trembling with fear and fumbling with the blueprints." Six months and it starts to rain," thundered the Lord. "You'd better have the Ark completed, or learn to swim for a very long time." Six months passed, the skies clouded up and rain began to fall. The Lord saw that Noah was sitting in his front yard, weeping. And there was no Ark. "Noah!" shouted the Lord, "where is the Ark?" "Lord, please forgive me!" begged Noah. "I did my best. But there were big problems. First, I had to get a building permit more...
Two Jewish businessmen meet in the street."Well, Morrie, hows your warehouse business going?". "Oy vey, Abraham, its not going so good, we had a flood last week.""So, Morrie," whispers Abraham "How do you start a flood?".