Destroyed Jokes

A furious lightsaber duel is underway. Darth Vader is backing Luke Skywalker
towards the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader chops off Luke's hand!
It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke backs away. He looks
around, but realizes there's nowhere to go but straight down.
Darth Vader: "Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father."
Luke: "He told me enough! He told me you killed him!"
Darth Vader: "No... I am your father!"
Luke: "No, it's not true! It's impossible."
Darth Vader: "Search your feelings... you know it to be true..."
Luke: "No!"
Darth Vader: "Yes, it is true.. and you know what else? You know that brass
droid of yours?"
Luke: "Threepio?"
Darth Vader: "Yes... Threepio... I built him... when I was 7 years old..."
Luke: "No..."
Darth Vader: "Seven years old? And what have you done? Look at more...

A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said, "I'm here because my house burned down, and all I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything and I'm using some of the insurance money for this trip."
"That's quite a coincidence," said the engineer. "I'm here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything."
The lawyer looked somewhat confused. "How do you start a flood?" he asked.

Being an Evil Overlord seems to be a good career choice. It pays well, there are all sorts of perks and you can set your own hours. However, every Evil Overlord I've read about in books or seen in movies invariably gets overthrown and destroyed in the end. I've noticed that no matter whether they are barbarian lords, deranged wizards, mad scientists or alien invaders, they always seem to make the same basic mistakes every single time. Therefore, if I ever happen to become an Evil Overlord...

1. My legions of terror will have helmets with clear Plexiglas visors, not face-concealing ones.

2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.

4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.

5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of more...

A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean sitting side by side. The lawyer said, ‘’I'm here ’cause my house burned down and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything.'’ ‘’That’s quite a coincidence,'’ said the engineer, ‘’I'm here ’cause my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything.'’ The lawyer pondered the engineer’s plight for a moment and, looking somewhat confused, asked, ‘’How do you start a flood?'’

A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said, "I'm here because my house burned down, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything."
"That's quite a coincidence," said the engineer. "I'm here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything."
The lawyer puzzedly asked, "How do you start a flood?"