Florist Jokes / Recent Jokes

Phoning the florist to order some flowers for her lovers funeral, woman was caught off guard when asked what message she wanted on the card. "Message?" she sputtered. "Well, I guess, You will be missed." Visiting the funeral home, she was pleased that her floral tribute had arrived but mortified that the card had her exact words: "I guess you will be missed."

There is this good ol' barber in some city in the US. One day a florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies: "I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a community service." The florist is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, there is a thank you card and a dozen roses waiting at his door. A cop goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber and the barber replies: "I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a community service." The cop is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, there is a thank you card and a dozen donuts waiting at his door. An Asian software engineer goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber and barber replies; "I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a community service." The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, guess more...

A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him his regards with flowers for the occasion. The friend arranged it through a florist.
Flowers were received at the new business site and the owner read the card, which read. ... "Rest in Peace."
The owner was angry and called the florist to complain.
After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist replied,
"Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry, you should imagine this: somewhere, there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying,... "Congratulations on your new location"

Upon receiving flowers to congratulate him on the opening of his new business, the owner opened the card and saw that it read "Rest In Peace." He angrily picked up the phone and called the florist to complain.
After explaining the circumstances and telling the florist how angry he was, the florist replied, "I am terribly sorry for the mistake sir. Rather than being angry perhaps it would help to imagine that somewhere out there a funeral is taking place and they have flowers with a card that reads, "With congratulations on your new location!"

There once was a kind hearted barber in city in the US. He never charged anyone for his services.
One day a Florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the Barber and the barber replies:
`I am Sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a Community Service. ’
The Florist is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is a Thank you Card and a dozen roses waiting at his door.
A Cop goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the Barber and the barber replies: `I am Sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a Community Service.` The Cop is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is a Thank you Card and a dozen Donuts.
A Indian goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the Barber and barber replies: ` I am Sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a Community Service. ’ The Indian also leaves very happy. The next morning more...

Some friars were behind in their belfry payments, so they opened a small florist shop to raise the funds.Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, the rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair.He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. He asked his mother to go ask the friars to get out of business. They ignored her.So, the rival florist hired Hugh Mac Taggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close shop.Terrified, the friars did so.The Moral of the Story:Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars!

A local florist just went out of business, but it was his own fault. He kept getting his orders mixed up. One woman received flowers sent by her husband, who was at a business meeting in Florida. She was perplexed by the message on her card: "Our deepest sympathy."
But she was not nearly as surprised as the woman whose husband had just passed away. Her card read, "Hotter here than I expected. Too bad you didn't come too."