Florist Jokes / Recent Jokes

A fellow was very much in love with a beautiful girl. One day she told him that the next day was her birthday. He told her he would send her a bouquet of roses... one for each year of her life.

That evening he called the local florist and ordered twenty-one roses with instructions that they be delivered first thing the next morning.

As the florist was preparing the order, he decided that since the young man was such a good customer, he would put an extra dozen roses in the bouquet.

The fellow never did find out what made the young girl so angry with him.

A new business was opening, and one of the owner`s friends sent flowers for the occasion. But when the owner read the card with the flowers, it said. "Rest in Peace"
The owner was little upset and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist about the obvious mistake, the florist said, "Sir, I`m really sorry for the mistake, but rater than getting angry, you should imagine this: Somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, "Congratulations on you new location."

Phoning the florist to order some flowers for her lover's funeral, woman was caught off guard when asked what message she wanted on the card. "Message?" she sputtered. "Well, I guess,' You will be missed."' Visiting the funeral home, she was pleased that her floral tribute had arrived but mortified that the card had her exact words: "I guess you will be missed."

A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion. He arrived at the new business site and read the card, "Rest in Peace".

Angry, he called the florist to complain.

After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist said, "Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry you should imagine this. Somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, Congratulations on your new location"

He loved her very much. He wanted this Valentine's day to be special, so he had ordered a bottle of her favorite liquor imported from France and it had arrived in time for the occasion.
On his way home, he stopped at the local florist. He had planned to have a bouquet made with her favorite flower, white anemones. But to his dismay, he found that the florist had sold all her flowers and had only a few sterns of feathery ferns left for decoration.
In a moment of
inspiration, he had the answer. He asked the florist to make a bouquet using the flask of liquor instead of flowers and what she produced was magnificent well beyond his expectations. He added a card, and proceeded home.
When he arrived, his wife was beautiful in her most elegant gown, and it was apparent that she had spent much of the day preparing a romantic candlelight dinner for the two of them.
He presented her with his gift, and she opened the card to read, "Absinthe makes the heart grow more...

The friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise the funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, the rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. He asked his mother to go and ask the friars to get out of the business. They ignored her too. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town, to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close shop! Terrified, the friars did so, thereby proving that... Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

I owe this 'gem' to my younger daughter.
There was a friar who decided to open a florist shop to help raise money for his church. The shop was an instant success. But the friar grew to like being a florist and spent less and less time at his church and more and more time at the florist shop.
The church protested and asked the friar to spend less of his time at the shop. But the friar wouldn't listen and now spent all of his time at the florist shop. He'd grown very fond of being a florist.
The church decided to act. So Hugh the Ogre was sent to the friar. Hugh the Ogre placed a very powerful spell on the friar and the friar, accordingly, returned to the church.
The moral of the story is - are you ready for this? - only 'Hugh can prevent florist friars'.