Florist Jokes / Recent Jokes

Easter is approaching. Father O'Maley checks estimates for the flowerdecoration of the altar.The catholic florist - $ 300. "Too expensive" moans the priest.The protestant florist - $ 250, "No, it would not be right to buy atanother Christian believer, especially as the price difference is rather small." But lo! Solly Goldberg - $ 75!!! Religion or economics? After much consideration, Solly obtains thecontract.On Easter Sunday morning, Goldberg's men deliver the flowers: wonderfulroses, azaleas, camellias, tulips and carnations. O'Maley's last reservations are discarded.When the parishioners arrive in the church, they see the magnificentflower arrangement and a ribbon with the inscription:"Jesus has risen! But the prices of Goldberg always stay the same."

A fellow was very much in love with a beautiful girl. One day she told him that the next day was her birthday. He told her he would send her a bouquet of roses, one for each year of her life.
That evening he called the local florist and ordered twenty-one roses with instructions that they be delivered first thing the next morning.
As the florist was preparing the order, he decided that since the young man was such a good customer, he would put an extra dozen roses in the bouquet.
The fellow never did find out what made the young girl so angry with him.

A fellow was very much in love with a beautiful girl. One day she told him that the next day was her birthday. He told her he would send her a bouquet of roses... one for each year of her life.That evening he called the local florist and ordered twenty-one roses with instructions that they be delivered first thing the next morning.As the florist was preparing the order, he decided that since the young man was such a good customer, he would put an extra dozen roses in the bouquet.The fellow never did find out what made the young girl so angry with him.

A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send flowers for the occasion.
They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card; it said "Rest in Peace".
The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist said. "Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry you should imagine this: somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, "Congratulations on your new location".

An absent-minded husband thought he had conquered his problem of trying to remember his wife's birthday and their anniver- sary. He opened an account with a florist, provided that florist with the dates and instructions to send flowers to his wife on these dates along with an appropriate note signed,"Your loving husband."
His wife was thrilled by this new display of attention and all went well until one day, some bouquets later, when he came home, kissed his wife and said off-handedly, "Nice flowers, honey. Where'd you get them?"

A Barber commited a crime, and had to go before a judge. Since it was his first time the Judge only gave him a community service in his own field.
He must give free hair cuts for one month, and every time a customer asks how much for the hair cut, he has to explain his crime, and that this is his community service.
Anyway, he was happy, because anything beats the jail.
first day he gave a hair cut to a Florist, the florist asked, how much at the end, he replied, oh nothing... explained the Judge's order.
Next day when he came to open the shop, there was a bouquet of flowers and a thankyou card.
That day a person came who owned a chocolate shop, after the hair cut he too asked, how much? the barber said oh no charge because... Judge's order.
Next day when he came to open his shop, he saw a box of chocolate and a thankyou card, That day he gave a hair cut to an East Indian, The East Indian asked how mucH? The barber said nothing because... Judge's Order.
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One day a police man goes into a barber shop for a hair cut. After the hair cut he asks the barber, "How much would that be?".
The barber replied back,"No, I don't take money. I do volunteer job sir." The police man said thanks and left. The next day, when the barber when to open the store, there was a dozen donuts with a card saying Thank you.
The next day a florist goes to the barber shop and gets a hair cut. She asks,"How much would that be sir?' The barber replies, "I don't take money because I do volunteer job." The florist says thanks and leaves. The next day when the barber comes to open the store, there was a dozen flowers with a thank you card on the door.
The next day an indian computer engineer goes to the barber shop for a hair cut. He then asks the barber, "How much would that b sir?". Thew barber replies, "I don't take money. I do volunteer job here. The tamil guy says thanks and leaves. The next day when more...