Fly Jokes / Recent Jokes
During a traffic stop a police officer is swatting at a fly that is circling around his head, and blurts out what kind of damn fly is that anyhow. The traffic offender replies, “that’s a circle fly”. The officer replies that he’s never heard of a “circle fly”.
The offender replies circle flies are usually found circling around a horses ass. Enraged, the police officer says, “are you calling me a horses ass? ”, to which the traffic offender replied, “no sir, but you can’t fool a circle fly.
20. The cucumber has left the salad. 19. I can see the gun of Navarone. 18. Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out. 17. You've got Windows on your laptop. 16. Sailor Ned's trying to take a little shore leave. 15. Your soldier ain't so unknown now. 14. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells. 13. You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position. 12. Paging Mr. Johnson... Paging Mr. Johnson... 11. Your pod bay door is open, Hal. 10. Elvis Junior has LEFT the building! 9. Mini Me is making a break for the escape pod. 8. Ensign Hanes is reporting a hull breach on the lower deck, Sir! 7. The Buick is not all the way in the garage. 6. Dr. Kimble has escaped! 5. You've got your fly set for "Monica" instead of "Hillary." 4. Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction... 3. You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones. 2. I'm talking about Shaft, can you dig it? 1. I thought you were crazy, now I more...
BREAKING NEWS:
Whitehouse press spokeswoman Joan Braithwaite has delivered the
following statement to media regarding accusation involving
impropriety between President Clinton and Miss Lewinsky:
The President absolutely did not engage in any sexual conduct
with Miss Lewinsky and will vigorously defend himself against
such claims.
However the President would like to state that it is possible
that a perfectly innocent incident has been twisted by right wing
Republicans in order to undermine his administration.
Mr. Clinton has said that there was an occasion when it was
necessary for him to adjust his clothing he noticed with some
embarrassment that his fly was undone. The President said that he
unfortunately had some difficulty with his clothing as his zipper
got stuck. Because Mr. Clinton has slight arthritis in his hands
he found he could not get the zipper up.
He therefore, for medical more...
Woman who go to man's apartment for snack, gets tit-bit. Man who lay woman on ground, get piece on earth. Man who gets kicked in balls, left holding the bag. Man who kisses girl's behind, gets crack in face. Passionate kiss like spider web. .. lead to undoing of fly. Man with hole in pocket, feel cocky all day. Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night. Virginity like balloon. .. one prick, all gone. Girl who rides bicycle, peddles ass all over town. Man who farts in church, sits in own pew. Baseball all wrong. .. man with four balls no can walk. Man who live in glass house, dress in basement. Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing. Man with penis in peanut butter jar is fucking nuts. Man who walk through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok. Man who drop watch in toilet, bound to have shitty time. Man who take lady on camping trip, have one intent. Woman who fly upside down, have crack up. Man who go to bed with question of sex on mind wake up with more...
Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blondes head? A: A Space Invader.
A prisoner at the Edmonton Max started training a large fly to do tricks.
For years, for thousands of hours, he worked with the insect. It learned to walk across a miniature high wire, ride a tiny one-wheel bike, balance on a pair of stilts and sing songs from PHANTOM OF THE OPERA.
"When you and I get out of here," the jailbird said to the fly. "we're going to tour the nightspots and make a fortune."
Finally the day arrived. Fly safely tucked away in his pocket, (inside its matchbox home), the ex-con made his way to a bar to celebrate.
At the bar, he brought out his trick fly. On cue, it started moonwalking. "What about this fly, eh?" he said to the bartender.
In one swift motion, the bartender reached for his copy of the newspaper THE EDMONTON SUN, rolled it up and squished the fly with a mighty swipe.
"Glad you saw it," muttered the bartender. "Blasted things are more...