Football Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: Why didn't the monster make the football team? A: Because he threw like a ghoul!
Titans quarterback Vince Young wandered away from home after being booed at Sunday's game. Friends said he was terribly upset - because he had Tom Brady on his fantasy team.
One man to another, “My wife thinks I put football before marriage, even though we just celebrated our third season together. ”
Tom Brady has said that he stills likes the Patriots chances despite his season-ending injury. Upon hearing his pronouncement, doctors immediately lessened his dosage of morphine.
If Men Ruled the World
Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number.
Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to "I love you."
Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.
If your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.
Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the ass and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time," would pretty much do it.
Birth control would come in ale or lager.
You'd be expected to fill your resume with gag names of people you'd worked for, like "Heywood J'Blowme."
Each year, your raise would be pegged to the fortunes of the NFL team of your choice.
The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.
"Sorry I'm late, but I got really wasted last night" would be an acceptable excuse more...
If men ruled the world would be different
- Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to 'I love you.'
- Hallmark would make 'Sorry, what was your name again?' cards.
- When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she would appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during half-time.
- Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack on the bum would pretty much do it.
- Birth control could come in ale or lager.
- The funniest guy in the office would get to be the big boss.
- 'Sorry I'm late, I got hammered last night,' would be an acceptable excuse for tardiness.
- It'd be considered harmless fun to gather 30 friends, put on horned helmets, and go pillage a nearby town.
- Lifeguards could remove citizens from beaches for violating the 'public ugliness' ordinance.
- Tanks would be far easier to rent.
- Instead of beer belly, you'd get 'beer biceps'.
- Instead of an expensive more...
Notre Dame has not yet decided what to do with Charlie Weis. But they did ask him to go party with Plaxico Burress.