Football Jokes / Recent Jokes
Chad Ochocinco says he tested out his injured left knee by having sex. In related news, the Cincinnati Bengals offer the best rehab ever.
A football coach walked into the locker room before a big game, looked over to his star player and said, "I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we really need you in there. So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play."
The player agreed, so the coach looked into his eyes intently and asked, - "Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this: What is two plus two?"
The player thought for a moment and then answered, "4?" "Did you say 4?!" the coach exclaimed, excited that he had given the right answer.
Suddenly, all the other players on the team began screaming, "Come on coach, give him another chance!"
Brett Farve announced last week that he will be returning for his 17th NFL season. And just to give you an idea of how much the country has changed since Farve came into the league – In 1990, Bush was President, Clinton was getting ready to run for office, we were at war in Iraq…Actually, nothing's really changed at all.
Not since the O J chase has there been so much talk about a white bronco.
There is a great deal of sympathy in Dallas for Cowboy's rookie wide receiver, Dez Bryant, who grew up in a single parent household with a mother who was a crack dealer and prostitute.
But Dez was the most popular kid in the neighborhood. Most Moms gave milk and cookies when you went to visit, at the Bryant house you got coke and a really good hummer.
A football coach walked into the locker room before a big game, looked over to his star player and said, "I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we really need you in there. So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play."The player agreed, so the coach looked into his eyes intently and asked, - "Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this: What is two plus two?"The player thought for a moment and then answered, "4?" "Did you say 4?!" the coach exclaimed, excited that he had given the right answer.Suddenly, all the other players on the team began screaming, "Come on coach, give him another chance!"
Madonna Update:
Madonna told an interviewer that, in Chichewa, the language of Malawi, the word “Madonna” means “distinguished white lady.” Which is funny because, in English, Madonna means “pretentious white lady from Detroit who speaks in an inexplicable British accent.”
Madonna was on Oprah to defend her controversial adoption of a young African boy. She’s really getting crucified. Oh yeah, that’s her act.
When they air her concert, NBC will not show Madonna suspended from a giant cross and wearing a crown of thorns so as not to anger Christian groups. She was going to wear a turban with a bomb in it, but for some reason they vetoed that too.
The father of the African boy Madonna hopes to adopt says he's worried she’ll back out of the adoption because activist groups are giving her such a hard time. He now says the adoption will rescue his son from illness and starvation. Maybe Madonna should adopt Nicole more...