Forbidden Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Manali hotel reassures guests about the drinking
water.

The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
A hotel in Haridwar advises its guests.

It is forbidden to steal hotel towels please, and politely adds: If you are not a person to do such a thing, please not to read notice.

A Mumbai hotel concerned about morals advises: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
A notice in a Bangalore pub states:

Ladies are requested not to have children in the pub.

A sign at a Nainital campsite warns:

It is strictly forbidden on our campsite that people of different sex, for instance men and women, live together in one tent, unless they are married with each other for that purpose.

To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students... here is something to make you chuckle. Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.

And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"

"Don't what?" Adam replied.
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.
"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve.. we have forbidden fruit!!!!!"
"No Way!"
"Yes way!"
"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.
"Why"
"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked! "Didn't I tell you not more...

When watching the Clinton video, did you get the feeling of "deja vu" - of
watching something that you had just seen in a similar structure?
Well your brain never fails. By reading below, you will see the remarkable
similarities between the Clinton Video and the Titanic Video. Was this just by
coincidence... or much more.
You be the judge.
Titanic vs. Clinton: Incredible Similarities
TITANIC VIDEO: Over 3 hours long and $9.99 on the Internet.
CLINTON VIDEO: Over 3 hours long and $9.99 on the Internet.
TITANIC VIDEO: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, a subsequent
catastrophe.
CLINTON VIDEO: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, a subsequent
catastrophe.
TITANIC VIDEO: Villain: White Star Line.
CLINTON VIDEO: Villain: Ken Starr.
TITANIC VIDEO: Jack is a starving artist.
CLINTON VIDEO: Bill is a B.S. artist.
TITANIC VIDEO: In one part, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
CLINTON VIDEO: more...

(Excerpted from an Ann Landers Column)
These are reportedly signs in English collected by Air France employees:
1. From a Tokyo Hotel:
It is forbidden to steal towels. If you are not a person so do such a thing, please do not read this notice.
2. In a Leipzig, Germany elevator:
Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
3. Paris hotel elevator:
Please leave your values in at the front desk. If you lose them in your room, we are not responsible.
4. Athens hotel:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 am daily.
5. Yugoslovian hotel:
The flattening of underware with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid..
6. Japanese hotel:
You are invited to take advantage of the woman who are employeed to clean the rooms.
7. Moscow hotel:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and
writers are buried daily except more...

FUNNY ENGLISH NOTICES AROUND THE WORLD!
Here are some signs and notices written in English that were
discovered throughout the world. You have to give the writers an
'E' for Effort. We hope you enjoy them.
In a Tokyo Hotel:
Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a
person to do such thing is please not to read notis.
In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we
regret that you will be unbearable.
In a Leipzig elevator:
Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin
should enter more persons, each one should press a number of
wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by
national order.
In a Paris hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.
In a hotel in Athens:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between more...

Titanic Video vs Clinton Video
TITANIC VIDEO: $9.99 on Internet.
CLINTON VIDEO: $9.99 on Internet.
TITANIC VIDEO: Over 3 hours long.
CLINTON VIDEO: Over 3 hours long.
TITANIC VIDEO: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, a subsequent catastrophe.
CLINTON VIDEO: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, a subsequent catastrophe.
TITANIC VIDEO: Villain: White Star Line.
CLINTON VIDEO: Villain: Ken Starr.
TITANIC VIDEO: Jack is a starving artist.
CLINTON VIDEO: Bill is a B.S. artist.
TITANIC VIDEO: In one part, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
CLINTON VIDEO: Ditto for Bill.
TITANIC VIDEO: During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
CLINTON VIDEO: Ditto for Monica.
TITANIC VIDEO: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
CLINTON VIDEO: Let's not go there.
TITANIC VIDEO: Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
CLINTON VIDEO: Monica's forced to return her gifts.
TITANIC VIDEO: Behind the scenes: Leonardo DiCaprio is wildly more...

Titanic vs. Slick Willy's Deposition Video
From the Philadelphia Daily News, September 28, 1998

TITANIC CLINTON VIDEO
=============================================================
$9.99 on Internet Same

Over 3 hours long Same

The Story of Jack and Rose, The Story of Bill and Monica,
their forbidden love, and their forbidden love, and
a subsequent catastrophe a subsequent catastrophe

Their Song: Celine Dion Their Song: Sarah
''My Heart Will Go On'' Maclaughlin' 'No. 5''

Villain: White Star Line Villain: Ken Starr

Jack is a starving Artist Bill is a BS artist

In one part, Jack enjoys Ditto for Bill.
a Good Cigar.

During the ordeal, Rose's Ditto for
dress gets ruined Monica's

Jack Teaches Rose to Spit Let's not EVEN go there!

Rose gets to keep her jewelry Monica forced to return gifts

Behind the scenes: Behind the more...