Foreigners Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Pollock walks over the Red Light District in Amsterdam when suddenlyhe notices a fine looking hooker looking at him. He stops, bangs on the window and says,"So, what does this cost? ?!!". And the hooker replies,"25 dollars! !". And the Pollock said, "Hmm, that's not a lot of money for insulatedwindows! !".

Three guys are in a plane, lost in fog, and they don't knowwhere they are. The first guy says "I'll find out" and putshis arm out the plane, then brings it back in and says"We're just over Paris""How do you know" ask the others"Well I've just felt the top of the Eiffel tower." Later on the second guy tries and says "We just flew over London""How?" asks the others"Well I've just felt the top of Big Ben"Still later on the last guy tries it, puts his arm out theplane, and says to the others "We have just flown over Glasgow." "How do you know that?" comes the reply." Because some bastard has just stolen my watch"

The Pope and Queen Elizabeth were standing on a balcony beaming at thousands of people in the forecourt below. The Queen says to the Popeout of the corner of her mouth, "I bet you a tenner that I can makeevery English person in the crowd go wild with just a wave of my hand." The Pope says, "No way. You can't do that." The Queen says, "Watch this." So the Queen waves her hand and every English person in the crowd goes crazy, waving their little plastic Union Jacks on sticks and cheering, basically going ballistic. So the Pope is standing there thinking, "Uh oh, what am I going to do? I never thought she'd be able to do it." So he thinks to himself for a minute and then he turns to her and says,"I bet you I can make every Irish person in the crowd go wild, not just now, but for the rest of the week, with just one nod of my head." The Queen goes, "No way, it can't be done." So the Pope headbutts her.

This aussie caught this Kiwi having a bit of fun with a sheep....." Mate", the aussie said, "Over there we shear them". The kiwi replied, "Mate, I'm not shearing this with innyone"

Rules that guys wished girls knew..........
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down.
3. Don't cut your hair. Ever.
4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see
if he can find the perfect present, again!
5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
answer you don't want to hear.
6. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.
7. Don't ask him what he's thinking about unless you are prepared
to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and
monster trucks.
8. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like
every other cat.
9. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.
10. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
tides. Let it be.
11. Shopping is not sport.
12. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
13. You have enough more...