Foreman Jokes / Recent Jokes

After a laborious two-week criminal trial in a very high profile bank robbery case, the jury finally ended its 14 hours of deliberations and entered the courtroom to deliver its verdict to the judge. The judge turns to the jury foreman and asks:

"Has the jury reached a verdict in this case?"

"Yes we have, your honor," the foreman responded.

"Would you please pass it to me,"

The judge declared, as he motioned for the bailiff to retrieve the verdict slip from the foreman and deliver it to him.

After the judge reads the verdict himself, he delivers the verdict slip back to his bailiff to be returned to the foreman and instructs the foreman,

"Please read your verdict to the court."

"We find the defendant NOT GUILTY of all four counts of bank robbery," stated the foreman.

The family and friends of the defendant jump for joy at the sound of the "not more...

An Irishman applied for a job on a construction site, but the foreman wouldn't hire him until he passed a simple maths test.
Here is your first question, the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9."
"Without numbers?" The Irishman says, "Dat is easy," and proceeded to draw three trees.

"What's this?" the boss asked.

"Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine," said the Irishman.
"Fair enough," said the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99."
The Irishman stared into space for a while, then picked up the picture that he has just drawn and made a smudge on each tree. "Ere you go."

The boss scratched his head and said, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"
"Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat more...

A construction foreman asks if anyone can help identify a black man who has fallen 12 floors and is so smashed up he cannot be easily recognized. Two Polish brothers come forward and say it might be their friend Jake. "Well", says the foreman, "does he have any scars that would help to identify him?" "No", say the brothers, "but if it's our friend Jake he has two assholes." The foreman says, "how would you know such a thing?" And they say, "last week we invited Jake to a bar which we go and always get drunk at, because he said he had never been there before. But, he must have been there before, because when we walked in the bartender yells out,' here comes a black guy with those two assholes!'"

Back in the old west, there was a need to connect the east and the west with a telegraph line. The Manager of the project advertised for workers to complete the job. Three groups responded. A team of Irishmen, a group of Italians, and a final team composed of Blondes.
Since none of the groups would work with anyone from the other two groups, the project supervisor decided to assign each group to a different part of the line, and then see which team set the most poles.
The first task was to set the poles. The Supervisor sent each group out to a different location. Before they left, he advised all three groups that the one to bury the most poles today, would receive a bonus.
At the end of the day, the foreman of the Italians reported back to the Supervisor. The Supervisor inquired of him how many poles had been set by his team. He answered 48. The Supervisor was delighted. He advised the Italian to stay awhile until he heard how the Irishmen and the Blondes had more...

Braxton and Hollis had jobs at a California cotton mill. One morning the foreman came along and found Braxton reading a letter to his coworker. "Hey," cried the foreman, "what kind a horseplay you two guys up to?" "Hollis got a letter from his girlfriend," explained Braxton, "but he can't read; so Ah'm readin' the letter for him." "How come you got the cotton in your ears?" "Hollis don't want me to hear what his girlfriend writ to him!"

Old man OMalley had worked down at the brewery for years, but one day he just wasnt paying attention and he tripped on the walkway and fell over into the beer vat and drowned. The foreman thought it should be his job to inform the Widow OMalley of her old mans death. He showed up at the front door and rang the bell. When she came to the door, he said, "Im sorry to tell you, but your poor husband passed away at work today when he fell into the vat and drowned."She wept and covered her face with her apron and after a time, between sobs, she asked, "Tell me, did he suffer?""Knowing Brian OMalley as well as I did, I dont think so," said the foreman, "He got out three times to go to the mens room."

One day this factory foreman hired 3 guys - a Polish fellow named' Stosh', a black guy named' Calvin' and a Chinese man named' Ling'.
When it came to handing out work assignments, he said "Stosh, you take care of that machine over there. Make sure it has proper materials going it at all times and inspect each finished piece coming out".
Handing Calvin a broom, he said "Calvin, make sure this place is clean at all times. Sweep up anything that falls on the floor."
So Ling asked what HE was supposed to do and the foreman said "You're in charge of supplies" and went back to his office.
A little while later, he emerged from behind his desk to see how his new charges were doing.
Stosh was busily tending his machine and Calvin was sweeping up every piece of litter in sight. But he did not see Ling anywhere.
He went back to the warehouse - no Ling.
He checked the receiving area - no Ling!
He even went into the men's room - more...