Forest Jokes / Recent Jokes

One fine day Mister Rabbit goes running around the forest.

He sees a giraffe rolling a joint. "Giraffe, giraffe! Why do you do drugs? Come run with me instead!"

So the giraffe stops rolling his joint and runs with the rabbit.

Then they come across an elephant doing lines. Says the rabbit: "Elephant, elephant, why do you do drugs? Come run with us instead."

So the elephant stops and goes running with the two. Then they come across a lion preparing a syringe. "Lion, lion," cries the rabbit, "Why do you do drugs? Come run with us instead."

The lion, with a mighty roar, bangs the rabbit to smithereens.

"No!" the giraffe and the elephant cry. "Why did you do that? All he was trying to do was to help you out!"

The lion replied, "Damn rabbit always makes me run around the friggin' forest when he's on speed!"

THINGS TO PONDER...
If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Is there another word for synonym?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
If a turtle doesn't have a more...

Deep within a forest, a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort, he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again, while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate. "Dear," she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him he's adopted."

Q: What are the two strongest days of the week?
A: They are Saturday and Sunday. All the others are weak (week) days.

Q: How far can a dog run into the forest?
A: Halfway, after that he is running out of the forest.

Q: What do you call a bear without an "ear"?
A: BBBBBBB

Q: Which is faster, heat or cold?
A: Heat, because you can catch a cold.

A: How many apples can you eat if your stomach is empty?
B: 4 or 5
A: No, that's wrong, because after eating one apple your stomach isn't empty.

If you are doing a discussion about space, then students will like this one.

Q: Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?
A: To find Pluto.

Q: What is the differnce between the capital of Russia and a calf's mother?
A: One is Moscow, the other is a cow's Ma.
(It needs to be spoken to understand it.)

Q: What do you call a Spaniard who can't find his car?
A: more...

Once upon a time in a nice little forest, there lived an orphaned bunny and an orphaned snake. By a surprising coincidence, both were blind from birth. One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake and fell down. This, of course, knocked the snake about quite a bit."Oh, my," said the bunny, "I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I've been blind since birth, so I can't see where I'm going. In fact, since I'm also an orphan, I don't even know what I am.""It's quite OK," replied the snake. "Actually, my story is much the same as yours. I, too, have been blind since birth, and also never knew my mother. Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you, and find out what you are, so at least you'll have that going for you.""Oh, that would be wonderful" replied the bunny. So the snake slithered all over the bunny, and said, "Well, more...

Q: How many Wake Forest students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two - one to mix the martinis and one to call the electrician.

There were three friends Chris, John and Keith, who decided one sunny day to go for a walk in the forest. After a while they realized that they were lost. And before they knew it they were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told them that the only way they could survive from the cannibals was to pass the trial. The frist step of the trial was to go into the forest with the cannibals and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So they thought that was easy enough, and all three friends went their separate ways to gather fruits.
Chris came back first and said to the king. " I brought ten apples."
The king then explained the next part of the trial to him. You have to shove the fruits up your ass without any expression on your face or you will be eaten. The first apple went in... but on the second one he screamed out with pain, so he was killed and went to heaven.
Then John arrived and shows the king his ten fruits which were berries. When the king more...