Former Jokes / Recent Jokes
President Clinton has a fairly short one. Eisenhover had a long one. Many people say
the former president Bush's one is even shorter (than Clinton's). A former Prime Minister
of Ceylon (Sri Lanka) Mr. Bandaranaike (1956-1959) was believed to have the longest one
among the leaders of a country. However, there is no actual proof to this fact because no
body have ever done a thourough research on this.
It was well-known that the first prime minister of india Mr. Neru had a very short one that
some belive it to be as short as Bush's.
There are many people that theirs are brown and some has it black. Some has it white,
some has very beautiful ones and some has not so beautiful ones. The owner of this thinks
that his is the most beatuful, elegant and important one in the whole world. Almost every
man is proud of his one.
Ladies normally use husband's one after marriage. Still there are many many ladies that
use something other than more...
Former Vice President Quayle, Speaker of the House Gingrich, and President Clinton are traveling in a car together in Kansas. A tornado comes along and whirls them up into the air and tosses them thousands of yards away. They all fall into a daze. When they come to and extract themselves from the vehicle, they realize they're in the fabled Land of Oz. They decide to go see the famous Wizard of Oz. The Wizard is known for granting people their wishes. Quayle says, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a brain." Gingrich responds, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a heart." Clinton speaks up, "Where's Dorothy?"
Former Vice President Quayle, Speaker of the HouseGingrich, and President Clinton are traveling in acar together in Kansas. A tornado comes along andwhirls them up into the air and tosses them thousandsof yards away. They all fall into a daze. When they come to and extract themselves from thevehicle, they realize theyre in the fabled Land of Oz. They decide to go see the famous Wizard of Oz. TheWizard is known for granting people their wishes. Quayle says, "Im going to ask the Wizard for a brain." Gingrich responds, "Im going to ask the Wizard for a heart." Clinton speaks up, "Wheres Dorothy?"
"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people" -- Former U. S. Vice-President Dan Quayle"They're multipurpose. Not only do they put the clips on, but they take them off." -- Pratt & Whitney spokesperson explaining why the company charged the Air Force nearly $1000 for an ordinary pair of pliers." The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep." -- Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on Larry King Live"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees." -- Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president." -- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents"When more and more people are thrown out of work, unemployment results." -- Former U. S. President Calvin Coolidge"It's like deja more...
New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1, 000 or 1, 500 yards, whichever comes first." Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me." And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the Skins say: "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders said, "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too." Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." (1996) Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up alphabetically by height." and "You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle." Clemson recruit Ray more...
Civil War Era Humor The following are supposedly true definitions, stories, and terms relating to the Civil War. BIGGEST MAN... The biggest man in the Union Army was Capt. David Van Buskirk of the 27th Indiana Regiment who stood 6 feet 11 inches and weighed 380 pounds. He was captured in 1862 and was sent to a Richmond Prison where a Confederate entrepreneur put him on exhibit. Even Confederate President Jeff Davis came to see him and was astounded when the impish Van Buskirk claimed that back home in Bloomington Indiana, "when I was at the train station with my company, my six sisters came to say goodbye. As I was standing there, with my company, they all came up to me, leaned down and kissed me on top of the head." LETTER HOME... A young soldier left home to join the army. He told his girl friend that he would write every day. After about six months, he received a letter from his girlfriend that she was marrying someone else. He wrote home to his family to find out who she more...
These are actual sports quotes said by various people throughout the world. Oiler coach Bum Phillips: When asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded, "Because she is too ugly to kiss goodbye." New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:"I want to rush for 1, 000 or 1, 500 yards, whichever comes first." And, upon hearing Joe Jacoby of the' Skins say "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders said, "To win, I'd run over Joe's mom too." Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann 1996: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up alphabetically by height." and "You guys pair more...