Forrest Jokes / Recent Jokes

Forrest Gump died and went to heaven. When he got to the Pearly Gates Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective Heavenly Soul must answer three questions.
1. Name two days of the week that begin with T.
2. How many seconds are in a year?
3. What is God's first name?
Forrest thought for a few minutes and answered, 1. The two days of the week that begin with T are Today and Tomorrow 2. There are 12 seconds in a year. 3. God has two-first names and they are Andy and Howard."
Saint Peter said, "OK I'll buy Today and Tomorrow, even though it's not the answer I expected, your answer is acceptable. But how did you get 12 seconds in a year and why did you ever think that God's first name was either Andy or Howard?"
Forrest responded, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd,...""OK, I give in" said Saint Peter, but what about the God's more...

Forrest Gump dies and goes to heaven.
The gatekeeper at the gate to heaven says, ''There are too many people in heaven so you have to pass this quiz to get in.''
Forrest Gump says, ''Okay.''
The gatekeeper says, ''First question: What two days of the week begin with T?''
Gump replies, ''That's easy. Today and tommorrow.''
The gatekeeper says, ''Well, I didn't think of that so I'll give it to you.
Second question: How many seconds are in a year?''
Gump says, ''12, January 2nd, February 2nd...''
The gatekeeper says, ''That wasn't what I was thinking, but I'll give it to you.
Last question: What is God's first name?''
Gump replies, ''Howard.''
The gatekeeper says, ''How on earth did you get Howard?''
Gump says, ''It's common sense. Our father, who art in heaven, Howard be thy name.''

Forrest Gump died and went to heaven. When he got to the Pearly Gate, Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective Heavenly Soul must answer three questions.
1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
2. How many seconds are in a year?
3. What is God's first name?
Forrest thought for a few minutes and answered..
"1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow."
"2. There are 12 seconds in a year."
"3. God has two first names and they are Andy and Howard. "

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