France Jokes / Recent Jokes
One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a student blooper in an essay. I have pasted together the following "history" of the world from certfiably genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eighth grade through college level. Read carefully, and you will learn a lot.
The inhabitants of Egypt were called mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of the dessert are cultivated by irritation. The Egyptians built the Pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube. The Pyramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain.
The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked "Am I my more...
Today, if you meet someone from France, they will say, "Bonjour, Je suis de la France."
This is what they would say if America knew France wasn't going to pay us back for helping them. "Hallo, bin ich von Frankreich."
There was this beautiful secretary of the president of a large bank who goes on a sight-seeing tour with an important client, a very rich African king.
From out of the blue, the client asks her to marry him. Naturally, the secretary is quite taken aback. However, she remembers what her boss told her - don't reject the guy outright. So, she tries to think of a way to dissuade the businessman from wanting to marry her.
After a few minutes, the woman says to the man, "I will only marry you under three conditions:
First, I want my engagement ring to be a 75-carat diamond ring with a matching 200-carat diamond tiara."
The African king pauses for a while, then nods his head and says, "No Problem! I have! I have!"
Realizing that her first condition was too easy, the woman says to the man, "I want you to build me a 100-room mansion in New York and as a vacation home, I want a chateau in the middle of the best wine county in more...
A wild-eyed man dressed in a Napoleonic costume and hiding his right hand inside his coat entered the psychiatrist's office and nervously exclaimed, "Doctor, I need your help right away."
"I can see that," retorted the doctor. "Lie down on that couch and tell me your problem."
"I don't have any problem," the man snapped. "In fact, as Emperor of France I have everything I could possibly want: money, women, power-everything! But I'm afraid my wife, Josephine, is in deep mental trouble."
"I see, said the psychiatrist, humoring his distraught patient. "And what seems to be her main problem?"
"For some strange reason," answered the unhappy man, "she thinks she's Mrs. Schwartz."
Two Poles, Markowski and Krachevski go to France on a pleasure trip. They meet this Frenchman called Jean Paul and become good pals. Jean Paul finds these two Poles some-what amusing and so he goes all out to make them happy. He treats them at pubs, bars, discotheques.
This goes on for a while until one fine day Jean Paul does not turn up. The Poles assume that some important work would have held him up and do not take a serious note of it. But, perhaps something was serious as Jean Paul does not turn up for next five days.
At this the Poles get alarmed and go to the police station to lodge a report. The inspector asks them to give details of the person who's missing. The following conversation follows:
Markowski: Well, his name is Jean Paul.
Inspector: It's a very common name in France. Something more please.
Krachevski: Well, he is very tall.
Inspector: Most of the people in France are tall. Big deal.
Markowski: Well, he's got blue eyes.
Inspector: more...
Two Poles, Markowski and Krachevski go to France on a pleasure trip. They meet this Frenchman called Jean Paul and become good pals. Jean Paul finds these two Poles some-what amusing and so he goes all out to make them happy. He treats them at pubs, bars, discotheques.This goes on for a while until one fine day Jean Paul does not turn up. The Poles assume that some important work would have held him up and do not take a serious note of it. But, perhaps something was serious as Jean Paul does not turn up for next five days.At this the Poles get alarmed and go to the police station to lodge a report. The inspector asks them to give details of the person who's missing. The following conversation follows:Markowski: Well, his name is Jean Paul.Inspector: It's a very common name in France. Something more please.Krachevski: Well, he is very tall.Inspector: Most of the people in France are tall. Big deal.Markowski: Well, he's got blue eyes.Inspector: Oh! no. Something more more...