France Jokes / Recent Jokes

A redneck is walking along the beach in France. There are many beautiful women lying in the sun, and he really wants to meet one. But try as he might, the women don't seem to be at all interested. Finally, as a last resort, he walks up to a French guy lying on the beach who is surrounded by adoring women.
"Excuse me," he says, taking the guy aside, "but I've been trying to meet one of those women for about an hour now, and I just can't seem to get anywhere with them. You're French. You know these women. What do they want?"
"Maybe I can help a leetle beet," says the Frenchman. "What you do ees you go to zee store. You buy a leetle bikini sweeming suit. You walk up and down zee beach. You meet girl very qweekly zees way."
"Wow! Thanks!" says the redneck, and off he goes to the store. He buys a skimpy red bathing suit, puts it on, and goes back to the beach. He parades up and down the beach but still has no luck with the more...

Two Poles, Markowski and Krachevski go to France on a pleasure trip. They meet this Frenchman called Jean Paul and become good pals. Jean Paul finds these two Poles some-what amusing and so he goes all out to make them happy. He treats them at pubs, bars, discotheques. This goes on for a while until one fine day Jean Paul does not turn up. The Poles assume that some important work would have held him up and do not take a serious note of it. But, perhaps something was serious as Jean Paul does not turn up for next five days. At this the Poles get alarmed and go to the police station to lodge a report. The inspector asks them to give details of the person who's missing. The following conversation follows: Markowski: Well, his name is Jean Paul. Inspector: It's a very common name in France. Something more please. Krachevski: Well, he is very tall. Inspector: Most of the people in France are tall. Big deal. Markowski: Well, he's got blue eyes. Inspector: Oh! no. Something more more...

Pierre was a camper from France. In his honour, Jenny sang a French song in the talent show. But she didnt sing very well. Does that make you homesick? someone asked Pierre. No, he answered. Just sick sick!

Pierre was a camper from France. In his honour, Jenny sang a French song in the talent show. But she didn't sing very well.' Does that make you homesick?' someone asked Pierre.' No,' he answered.' Just sick sick!'

The kings of Spain, France, and England all stand on stage together in front of their nations all ready to see who of the three has the largest penis. The king of Spain takes his out and as they all see the impressive proportions all the Spanish people shout: "Viva Espania!"The king of France is next and as his is even larger, all the French scream: "Vive la France!"Next comes the king of England, and just as he drops his pants and takes his out, everyone exclaims: "God save the Queen!"

An old Englishman walks into a bar an asks for a bottle of 38 year old wine from Leonne, France. The bar tender not wanting to go to the cellar gave the Englishman the closest bottle of wine he has. The Englishman tasted it and said: “This wine is only 2 years old and is from Santiago de Chile. ” The bartender was amazed, but at the same time curios, so he gave him another bottle. The Englishman goes: “This wine is 17 years old and is from San Diego, California. ” The bartender was so amazed that he gave him another bottle. The Englishman tasted it and said: “This wine is 30 years old and is from Lima, Peru. ” Finally the bartender goes to the cellar and got the right bottle and gave it to the Englishman. The Englishman said: “Finally, a 38 year old wine from Leonne, France. ” An old drunk that had been watching goes up to the Englishman and said: “Could you please tell me what kind of drink is this” and hands him a cup. The old Englishman tasted and said: “What more...

The kings of Spain, France, and England all stand on stage together in front of their nations all ready to see who of the three has the largest penis.
The king of Spain takes his out and as they all see the impressive proportions all the Spanish people shout: "Viva Espania!"
The king of France is next and as his is even larger, all the French scream: "Vive la France!"
Next comes the king of England, and just as he drops his pants and takes his out, everyone exclaims: "God save the Queen!"