Freezer Jokes / Recent Jokes
Mary received a parrot as a gift. The parrot was fully grown with a very bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was a curse: those that weren't curses were to say the least, rude.Mary tried to change the bird's attitude by constantly saying polite things. Words and playing soft music...anything she could think of. Nothing worked.She yelled at the bird and the bird got worse. She shook the bird and the bird got madder and more rude. Finally in a moment of desperation, Mary put the parrot in the freezer to get a minute of peace.For a few moments she heard the bird swearing, squawking kicking and screaming and then, suddenly there was absolute quiet. Mary was frightened that she might have actually hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out onto Mary's extended arm and said:"I'm very sorry that I offended you with my language and my actions and I ask your forgiveness. I will endeavor to correct my behavior and I am sure it will more...
Two gay guys, Larry and Casey, lived together.
One day, it was really hot and Larry came home and found Casey with his ass in the freezer.
Larry exclaimed,"Casey, what the hell are you doing with your ass in the freezer?!?"
Casey replied, "It's so hot outside that I thought you would like something cool to slip into."
It's the day before Thanksgiving, and the butcher is just locking up when a man begins pounding on the front door." Please let me in," says the man desperately. "I forgot to buy a turkey, and my wife will kill me if I don't come home with one." "Okay," says the butcher. "Let me see what I have left." He goes into the freezer and discovers that there's only one scrawny turkey left. He brings it out to show the man." That's one is too skinny. What else you got?" says the man. The butcher takes the bird back into the freezer and waits a few minutes and brings the same turkey back out to the man." Oh, no," says the man, "That one doesn't look any better. You better give me both of them!"
What do you get when you put two blondes in the freezer? Frosted flakes.
This elderly lady, recently widowed, decides to see if a pet will ease her loneliness and goes to the pet store. She decides against puppies, kitties, etc., and is about to leave the store when she hears a voice saying, "My, do you look lovely this afternoon, madam." She turns around quickly to see who has spoken, but there is no one. All she sees is a big green parrot, resting on his perch in his cage. "Did you say that?" she asks. "Why, yes, I did!" he replies. "And may I add that dress is a very nice color for you." The lady suddenly realizes how nice it would be to not only have a talking parrot, but one that paid such nice compliments. So she pays for him and takes him home. On the way, she says, "You know, I am so proud of you that I believe I'll take you out for dinner! Would you like that?" The parrot says, "Why yes, that would be delightful. I know a charming place on 7th Street." So they arrive home and the lady more...
Cecil and Scott are two homosexuals living together. It was extremely hot one day and Cecil arrived home to find Scott with his ass in the freezer.
"Scott! What are you doing with your ass in the freezer?"
Scott replied, "It was so hot outside, I thought you'd like something cool to slip into!"