French Jokes / Recent Jokes
There are consistent trends in the past evolution of languages, and in
all likelihood they will continue to change in the same fashion in the
future.
In 200 years, spoken French will have only one sound, a vowel. All
consonants and gaps between words and sentences will disappear, leaving
only an extended "Eauuuuuuuuuuuu..." Meaning will be inferred from
facial expression. Written French will stay exactly the same.
These consonants will not be entirely forgotten; they will migrate
to Czechoslovakia, which will by that time have no use for vowels.
In 200 years, the English vocabulary will be the union of all other
vocabularies, but the spelling will be original.
Similarly, the Japanese alphabet will be the union of all other
alphabets in the world.
The Cyrillic alphabet will eventually be the same as the Latin
alphabet, only backwards. A mirror will suffice for translating
Russian into Polish.
Finally, in 200 more...
Gallic Wars: Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.
Hundred Years' War: Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman."
Italian Wars: Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.
Wars of religion: France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots
Thirty Years War: France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.
War of Devolution: Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.
The Dutch War: Tied
War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War: Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label more...
An American was telling one of his favorite jokes to a group of friends."Hell is a place where the cooks are British, the waiters are French, the
policemen are Germans, and the trains are run by Italians."The lone European in the group pondered all this for a second and responded, "I can't say about the police and the trains, but you're probably right about going out to eat. A restaurant in Hell would be one where the cooks are British and the waiters are French - and the customers are all Americans."
My mother-in-law is like a fine French Impressionist painting.She's very lovely, but is best appreciated at a distance.
Never Judge a Book by it's Author
Is O. J. Guilty?... Howard I. Know
Animal Illnesses... Ann Thrax
French Overpopulation... Francis Crowded
Fallen Underwear... Lucy Lastic
Downpour!... Wayne Dwops
Cloning... Ima Dubble
Irish Flooring... Lynn O'Leum
I Lived in Detroit... Helen Earth
Inflammation, Please... Arthur Itis
Handel's Messiah... Ollie Luyah
House Construction... Bill Jerome Home
Unemployed... Anita Job
Off to Market... Tobias A. Pigg
Holmes Does it Again... Scott Linyard
Home Alone IV... Eddie Buddyhome
Lewis Carroll... Alison Wonderland
Leo Tolstoy... Warren Peace
The L. A. Lakers Breakfast...Kareem O' Wheat
Neither a Borrower... Nora Lender Bee
The French Chef... Sue Flay
Tight Situation... Leah Tard
The Scent of a Man... Jim Nasium
Why Cars Stop... M. T. Tank
Wind in the Willows... Russell Ingleaves
Look Younger... Fay Slift
Mountain Climbing... Andover Hand
It's more...
HEAVEN is where: The police are British The chefs Italian The mechanics are German The lovers are French and it`s all organised by the Swiss HELL is where: The police are German The chefs are British The mechanics are French The lovers are Swiss and it`s all organised by the Italians!!
There is this French couple, sitting up talking, when the wife says to the husband that it was time he had a conversation with their thirteen year old son about the birds and the bees. So the father goes to his son's room and says "Son do you remember that session I arranged for you with mademoiselle Ginette ?" "Oh yes papa, I remember very well" says the son. "Well son it is time you knew that the birds and the bees do the same thing"