Frenchman Jokes / Recent Jokes

It was Tracy's first crossing, and he was assigned to a table with a suave Frenchman. The first night out, the Frenchman rose, bowed slightly, and said, "Bon appetit."Tracy got to his feet, bowed and said, "Tracy."
The following morning, at breakfast, then at lunch and again at dinner, the ceremony was repeated and Tracy found his politeness wearing a little thin. "It's beginning to annoy me," he told a companion in the lounge. "Same thing over and over: he tells me his name, Bon appetit, I tell him mine and we do it all over again at the next meal."
His companion, a bit more worldly than Tracy, laughed. "He's not introducing himself. Bon appetit is French for' good appetite.' He's hoping that you enjoy your meal."
Tracy felt pretty silly. The next morning when he appeared at breakfast, the Frenchman was already seated. Tracy bowed and said, "Bon appetit." Whereupon the Frenchman jumped up, bowed and answered, more...

After a shipwreck an Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Russian are stranded
on an island. They survive there for a while, and one fine morning a
bottle is washed up on the shore.
They open it and out comes a genie. So, of course it says: "I've been in
that bottle for a thousand years, and I am infinitely grateful to you for
letting me out. I will grant each of you one wish."
The Englishman says, "I want a million pounds and to go home."
So he disappears.
The Frenchman says, "I want a million women and to go home."
So he disappears.
The Russian grows sad, and says "Why, they were nice. I grew to like them!
I want a million bottles of vodka, and... Both of them back!"

A gum-chewing American and a Frenchman are sitting together in a restaurant.
The American feel really proud to be an American, so he starts a conversation.
He asks the Frenchman, "When you eat bread, do you eat all of it?"
"Mais oui!, of course!" responds the Frenchman.
"Well," says the American, "we only eat the soft part of it. The rest we collect in containers, take to a factory and put through a mill.
What comes out are little breads that we sell in France.
"And what about steaks?" he continues. "Do you eat all parts of them?"
"Bien sur! We do," replies the Frenchman.
"You don't say!" says the America, grinning. "We don't! We only eat the meaty part of the steak. The greasy part we collect in containers, take to a factory, put through a mill, and what comes out are little steaks that we sell in France."
Now the Frenchman is really riled. So he asks, "And more...

A gum-chewing American and a Frenchman are sitting together in a
> restaurant.
>
> The American feel really proud to be an American, so he starts a
> conversation. He asks the Frenchman, "When you eat bread, do you eat
all
> of
> it?" "Mais oui!,
> of course!" responds the Frenchman.
> "Well," says the American, "we only eat the soft part of it. The rest
we
> collect in containers, take to a factory and put through a mill. What
> comes out are little breads that we sell in France.
>
> "And what about steaks?" he continues. "Do you eat all parts of them?"
> "Bien sur! We do," replies the Frenchman.
> "You don`t say!" says the America, grinning. "We don`t! We only eat
the
> meaty part of the steak. The greasy part we collect in containers,
take
> to a factory, put through a mill, and what comes out are little more...

An Englishman, an American and a Frenchman were discussing a good example of savoir-faire.
"Ok," said the Englishman, "if you came home and found your wife in bed with another man and you didn't kill him, that to me, is savoir-faire."
"Not quite, fellas," said the American. "If you came home and found your wife in bed with another man and you said, 'Please carry on', that's savoir-faire."
"Mais non," said the Frenchman. "If you came home and found your wife in bed with another man and you said, 'Please carry on', and he could, that's savoir-faire."

There was this Irishman, Frenchman and Newfoundlander about to make a trip
to the moon. The trip was going to take about ten years so each person was
asked if they wanted to take something along to last them ten years. The
Irishman said, well ten years is a long time so I want to take five women
with me. The Frenchman said, well I want a ten year supply of beer. The
Newfoundlander said, I want a ten year supply of cigerettes.
Very well, they were sent on there way.
After the ten years were up they landed safely back on earth. The Irishman
got off the shuttle with 15 kids, the Frenchman came staggering off the
shuttle with a beer in his hand loaded drunk and then the Newfoundlander
came off the shuttle, his hands were shaking and he was sweating all over
with a cigarette in his hand, does anybody have a match.

A Frenchman and an American were seated next to an Italian on an overseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussing their home lives. "Last night I made love to my wife four times," the Frenchman bragged, "and this morning she made me delicious crepes and she told me how much she adored me." "Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times," the American responded, "and this morning she made me a wonderful omelet and told me she could never love another man." When the Italian remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked, "And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?" "Once," he replied. "Only once?" the American arrogantly snorted. "And what did she say to you this morning?" "Don`t stop."