Frequently Jokes / Recent Jokes

Sri and Bri are two friends and Sri Singh has a very good job. Bri Singh is jobless and one day asks Sri to help him get some good Job. Sri Singh says, "OK, next time we will apply together." and they do.
On interview day, Sri Singh says, "First I will go inside and answer all questions and after coming out, I will give you all the questions & answers. Then you go in and answer everything. You will get the Job. So, Sri goes in.
EMPLOYER: When did we get independence?
Sri: Efforts started in 1857, but we got freedom in 1947.
EMPLOYER: Good. Who is our PM?
Sri: It changes frequently and these days it's Atal Bihari Vajpayee.
EMPLOYER: OK. What's India's population?
Sri: Good Question, Research is going on, and when I know, I will tell you, Sir.
Now he comes out and tells the questions and answers to Bri Singh. Bri Singh (True SARDAR that he is) remembers all answers and forgets the questions. He goes in Now.
EMPLOYER: When were more...

Unleash the Power of Shift! Q: My shift keys have little arrows on them. Does that mean the *real* shift keys are located above them, and these keys are just little signs to point them out? A: Nope, they're the Real McCoy. The little arrows mean "up", as in "look up at the screen". Your keyboard is telling you to learn to touch type and quit staring at your fingers. Q: What happens if I press both shift keys? A: Even bigger letters may show up on your screen. You should not use this feature, however, because these letters are also brighter, and may cause Screen Burn-In, which would be particularly embarrassing if you were typing something naughty at the time. You might consider obtaining the author's Shift Key Burn-In Protector program for only $139. 95. Or you might not, it's your computer, but don't say I didn't warn you. Q: My religion prohibits the use of shift keys. how can i type capital letters and punctuationA: Discuss alternatives to the shift key with more...

She has a hard time alphabetizing a bag of M&M's.She doesn't get the hang of Post-it Notes.You have to frequently scrape White-Out off her computer monitor.At the board meeting for which she is recording the minutes, she stops the proceedings to ask, "What did fatso say?"Your customers come around only during her lunch period; they peek around the door asking, "Is the coast clear?"When she gets low on typing paper she asks you what to do; you tell her to use copy paper. She then takes a blank piece of typing paper and puts it into the copy machine and makes 10 copies.She rolls her hosiery to just below the knee and keeps it there by tying it in a knot.The Ringling Brothers Clown College announces that she has won a prize for her original make-up.She tries to fax chocolate chip cookies to her daughter in college.She staples her thumbs together more frequently than once a week.Types 60 words per minute.......but not in English.She wears White-Out for nail polish.

Q. My shift keys have little arrows on them. Does that mean the *real* shift keys are located above them, and these keys are just little signs to point them out? A. Nope, they're the Real McCoy. The little arrows mean "up", as in "look up at the screen". Your keyboard is telling you to learn to touch type and quit staring at your fingers.Q. What happens if I press both shift keys? A. Even bigger letters may show up on your screen. You should not use this feature, however, because these letters are also brighter, and may cause Screen Burn-In, which would be particularly embarrassing if you were typing something naughty at the time. You might consider obtaining the author's Shift Key Burn-In Protector program for only $139.95. Or you might not, it's your computer, but don't say I didn't warn you.Q. my religion prohibits the use of shift keys. how can i type capital letters and punctuationA. Discuss alternatives to the shift key with your spiritual advisor. Perhaps more...

Bath: A process by which humans use to drench the floor, walls and themselves. Retaliate by shaking vigorously and frequently.

Bicycle: Two-wheeled human transport device useful for dogs to control body fat or reduce boredom. For maximum effect, hide behind a bush and upon approach of such human-operated device, dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards-the human will swerve and fall, thereupon you proudly, but quickly, prance away.

Bump-regular: The best way to get human attention while the human is drinking a fresh cup of coffee or tea. To execute, maneuver your snout under the arm holding the liquid beverage. When your snout is properly positioned, with one smooth flowing action, bounce the human’s arm upward.

Bump-goose: A more involved maneuver than the bump-regular, requiring that you wrap your fore paws and legs around the human’s legs and begin climbing up the legs. This is a last resort when the bump-regular doesn’t get the more...