Freudian Jokes / Recent Jokes
A guy with a black eye boards a plane bound for Pittsburg and immediately notices that the guy seated next to him has a black eye as well. "What a coincidence," he says to him. "We both have a black eye. Mind if I ask how you got yours?"
"Well, it just sort of happened," the second guy answers. "It was merely a Freudian slip. See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with the biggest breasts I've ever seen was behind the counter. Instead of saying I'd like a ticket to Pittsburg, I said I'd like a ticket to Titsburgh. That's when she socked me one."
"Mine was merely a Freudian slip too," replies the first guy. "I was at the breakfast table and wanted to say to my wife, 'Please pour me a bowl of cereal'. Accidentally I said, 'You ruined my life you fucking bitch'."
One day, there was a priest sitting in a pew with a very worried and nervous
look, and another priest saw him and wondered what was wrong. The second priest thought he should try to help, so he approached his distraught associate and asked him what was wrong.“Well,” the first priest said, “have you ever heard of a Freudian slip?”“No,” said the other.“Well,” said the first, “it's when one slips and says something one is thinking
usually when it is the least opportune time.”“Oh,” said the third, “so, what happened?”“Well, today I performed a wedding and you know the part when you say ‘I now pronounce you man and wife’?” asked the first.“Yes?” said the second.“Well that is what I meant to say, and what I actually said was, ‘I now sentence you to death.’”
The Freudian Slip Ted and John are setting in the bar and John asked Ted if he bought the train tickets to go see the Steelers game this weekend. Ted says yea and kinda looked a little funny. John said is there anything wrong? Ted said naw, everythings OK. They take a few more sips of beer and Ted ask John if he had ever embarrassed himself by saying something he didnít mean to say. John said sure, it happens to everyone. Ted said thereís a name for that isnít there... you know, where you accidently use the wrong words when you are trying to say something. Yea, says John, itís called a Freudian slip. Yea, thats it said Ted, I couldnít think of the word. Why are you asking said John? Well, yesterday I went to the train station to get the train tickets for Pittsburg, and the girl selling tickets has this incredible set of jugs. I pulled out the money and laid it on the counter and asked her to give me two pickets to Titsburg and then had to embarrassingly say I mean two tickets to more...
Two men are talking in the bar sharing their sob stories. One man says, "I had the worst Freudian slip the other day."
The other man responds, "What the hell is a Freudian slip?" "You know," says the first man. "It's when you mean to say one thing, but you say something else that reveals what you are really thinking about.
Like the other day I was at the airport, and this really sexy lady was helping me. Instead of asking her for' two tickets to Pittsburgh,' I asked her for' two pickets to Tittsburgh." The second replies, "Oh, now I know what you are talking about. It's like the other day when I was having breakfast with my wife. I wanted her to pass me the orange juice, but instead I said,' You ruined my life, bitch!'"
One day, there was a priest sitting in a pew with a very worried and nervous
look, and another priest saw him and wondered what was wrong. The second priest thought he should try to help, so he approached his distraught associate and asked him what was wrong.
“Well, ” the first priest said, “have you ever heard of a Freudian slip? ”
“No, ” said the other.
“Well, ” said the first, “it's when one slips and says something one is thinking
usually when it is the least opportune time. ”
“Oh, ” said the third, “so, what happened? ”
“Well, today I performed a wedding and you know the part when you say ‘I now pronounce you man and wife’? ” asked the first.
“Yes? ” said the second.
“Well that is what I meant to say, and what I actually said was, ‘I now sentence you to death. ’”