Fridge Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: What do you call an elephant wearing pink earmuffs and a dress?
A: Anything you want, it can't hear you.
Q: Why is an elephant big, grey, and wrinkly?
A: Because, if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Aspirin.
Q: What's grey and white on the inside and red on the outside?
A: An inside out elephant.
Q: What is grey and not there.
A: No elephants.
Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant?
A: With a blue elephant gun, of course.
Q: How do you shoot a red elephant?
A: No, not with a red elephant gun. You strangle him until he turns blue, and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.
Q: How do you shoot a green elephant?
A: Tell him a dirty joke so he turns red, strangle him until he turns blue, and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.
Q: How do you shoot a yellow elephant?
A: Ever seen a yellow elephant? (Stup-pid, fuul, idyut!)
Q: Why are elephants wrinkled?
A: Have you ever tried to iron one?
Q: Why did more...

Q: Why are married women heavier than single women? A: Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge. Q: How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes? A: Both of them. Q: Why did the man cross the road? A: He heard the chicken was a slut. Q: Why don't women blink during foreplay? A: They don't have time. Q: Why does it take 1 million sperm cells to fertilize one egg? A: They won't stop to ask directions. Q: What do men and sperm have in common? A: They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being. Q: How does a man show that he is planning for the future? A: He buys two cases of beer. Q: What is the difference between men and government bonds? A: The bonds mature. Q: Why are blonde jokes so short? A: So men can remember them. Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? A: We don't know; it has never happened. Q: Why is it more...

Women One Liners1. How many honest intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes? Both of them. 2. Why don't women blink during foreplay? They don't have time. 3. Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg? Not one will stop to ask directions. 4. What do men and sperm have in common? They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being. 5. How does a man show he is planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer. 6. What is the difference between men and government bonds? The bonds eventually mature. 7. Why are blonde jokes so short? So men can remember them. 8. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? We don't know; it has never happened. 9. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? They already have boyfriends. 10. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A widow. 11. Why are married women heavier than single women? Single women come home, see what's in more...

Q. Why did the kid fall off his bike?

A. Because someone threw a fridge at him.

When do you care for a man’s company?
When he owns it.

Why are married women heavier than single women?
Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what’s in the bed and go to the fridge.

Why do men have legs?
So their brains don’t drag on the ground.

“You and your husband don’t seem to have an awful lot in common, ” said the new tenant’s neighbor. “Why on earth did you get married? ” “I suppose it was the old business of ‘opposites attract’, ” was the reply. “He wasn’t pregnant and I was. ”

What do an anniversary and a toilet have in common?
Men always miss them.

Man: “Haven’t we met before? ”
Woman: “Yes, I’m the receptionist at the VD Clinic. ”

Why do men like masturbation?
It’s sex with someone they love.

What should you give a man who has everything?
A woman to show him how more...

Drunk Husband " Honey, everytime when I come home after a drink and go for a leak, as soon as I open the door to the toilet the light comes on, this place is doomed!!"
Sleepy wife " You idiot, you pissed in the fridge again!!"

Competition
Shlomo, driving a Yugo in Tel Aviv, pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce, rolls down his window, and smiles at the driver of the Rolls, "Hey, buddy, that`s a nice car. Have you got a phone in it? I`ve got one in my Yugo!"
David, the driver of Rolls looks over and says simply, "Yes, I have a phone."
"Cool!" continues Shlomo. "Have you got a fridge in there, too? I got a fridge in the back seat of my Yugo!"
David, looking annoyed, says, "Yes, I have a refrigerator."
Shlomo goes on, "That`s great! Listen, have you got a TV in there? I got a one right next to me."
David, looking very annoyed by now, says, "Of course I have a television. A Rolls-Royce is the finest luxury car in the world!"
"Say," persists Shlomo, "Have you got a bed in your car? I got one in the back of my Yugo!"
Upset that he hadn’t, David immediately drove off straight more...