Friendly Jokes / Recent Jokes
On a military training exercise, the British divisional command radio operators were getting very bored one quiet night, when breaking the silence a voice asked over the air, "Are there any friendly bears listening?" After a moment, another voice replied, "Yes, I'm a friendly bear," and then another voice, "I'm a friendly bear too!" At this point, the Officer at Headquarters grabbed his microphone and let loose a blistering tirade at the operators for fooling around on an radio link. When he had finished, there was silence for about ten seconds. Then a small voice said, "You're not a very friendly bear, are you?"
One stormy night many years ago, an elderly man and his wife entered the lobby of a small hotel in
Philadelphia. Trying to get out of the rain, the couple approached the front desk hoping to get some
shelter for the night.
"Could you possibly give us a room here?" the husband asked. The clerk, a friendly man with a winning
smile, looked at the couple and explained that there were three conventions in town.
"All of our rooms are taken," the clerk said. "But I can't send a nice couple like you out in the
rain at one o'clock in the morning. Would you perhaps be willing to sleep in my room? It's not
exactly a suite, but it will be good enough to make you folks comfortable for the night."
When the couple declined, the young man pressed on. "Don't worry about me; I'll make out just fine,"
the clerk told them. So the couple agreed.
As he paid his bill the next morning, the elderly man said to the clerk, more...
When young Jose, newly arrived in the United States, made his first trip to Yankee Stadium, there were no tickets left for sale. Touched by his disappointment, a friendly ticket salesman found him a perch near the American flag. Later, Jose wrote home enthusiastically about his experience. “And the Americans, they are so friendly! ” he concluded. “Before the game started, they all stood up and looked at me and sang, …. ‘Jose, can you see? ’”
Flying the Friendly Skies
"This is the captain speaking, we will be reaching Daytona within 3 hours, thank you.
The captain puts the microphone down, but forgets to turn it off. He says to the co-pilot,
"Man I could really go for some coffee and a blow job right about now."
All the passengers hear this and are shocked. The stewardist thinks,"I better go tell the
captain that everyone heard that!"
So she runs to the cockpit, but before she gets there, another woman grabs her shirt and
says, "Miss, Miss! You forgot the coffee!"
On a military training exercise, the British divisional command radio operators were getting very bored one quiet night, when breaking the silence a voice asked over the air, "Are there any friendly bears listening?"
After a moment, another voice replied, "Yes, I'm a friendly bear," and then another voice, "I'm a friendly bear too!"
At this point, the Officer at Headquarters grabbed his microphone and let loose a blistering tirade at the operators for fooling around on an radio link. When he had finished, there
was silence for about ten seconds.
Then a small voice said, "You're not a very friendly bear, are you?"
While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. "Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you." "No problem, just let me in," says the man. "Well, I'd like to but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity." "Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the senator. "I'm sorry but we have our rules." And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a club and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had more...
A man was on a walking holiday in a foreign country. He became thirsty so decided to ask at a stranger's home for something to drink.
The lady of the house invited him in and served him a bowl of soup by the fire.
There was a wee pig running around the kitchen - running up to the visitor and giving him a great deal of attention.
The visitor commented that he had never seen a pig this friendly.
The housewife replied: "Ummm, he's not that friendly. That's his bowl you're using"