Friendly Jokes / Recent Jokes
The dangers of friendly greetings
A friendly greeting caused a major airport security alert when a man called "Hi, Jack" to a colleague on board an aircraft.
A SWAT team and dozens of police reinforcements were called to the Oakland International Airport near Detroit in the US.
Lt. Rick Crigger said, "There was a guy on the plane named Jack, and someone walked in and said,' Hi Jack'. The mike just happened to be open and the tower heard it."
Thinking someone was hijacking the corporate jet, the FBI as well as police were called to prepare for a hostage situation. Air traffic controllers ordered the plane to return to the tower but, after a quick check on the identity of the pilot, the jet was cleared for take off.
FARMER'S MULE
A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately
demanded an inspection of the place. The Farmer had genuinely tried to be
friendly to his new mother-in-law, hoping that it could be a friendly,
non-antagonistic relationship. To no avail, she kept nagging them at every
opportunity, demanding changes, offering unwanted advice and making life
unbearable to the farmer and his new bride. While they were walking through
the barn, the farmer's mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law
in the head, killing her instantly. At the funeral service a few days
later, the farmer stood near the casket and greeted folks as they walked
by. The pastor noticed that whenever a woman would whisper something to the
farmer, he would nod his head yes and say something. Whenever a man walked
by and whispered to the farmer, however, he would shake his head, no and
mumble a reply. Very curious as more...
Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?" "Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techiniques - visualization, association - it made a huge difference for me." "That`s great! What was the name of the clinic?" Fred went blank. He thought and thought, but couldn`t remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that red flower with the long stem and thorns?" "You mean a rose?" "Yes, that`s it!" He turned to his wife.. . "Rose, what was the name of that clinic?"
How courteous is the Japanese;
He always says, "Excuse it, please."
He climbs into his neighbor's garden.
And smiles, and says, "I beg your pardon;"
He bows and grins a friendly grin,
And calls his hungry family in;
He grins, and bows a friendly bow;
"So sorry, this my garden now."
--Ogden Nash
Friendship Plan Announced
This is an addendum to the new compensation/benefits package.
BOEING MANAGED FRIENDSHIP
Welcome to Boeing Managed Friendship, a whole new way of thinking about friends and relationships at work. With all the recent mergers and buyouts, it is difficult for most people to determine who their real friends are anymore. The Managed Friendship Plan (MFP) combines all the advantages of a traditional friendship network with company-approved representation and important cost-saving features.
How Does It Work?
Under the Plan, you choose your friends from a network of pre-screened accredited Friendship Providers (FPs). All your friendship needs are met by members of your Managed Friendship Staff.
What's Wrong with my Current Friends?
If you're like most people, you are receiving friendship services from a network of friendship providers haphazardly patched together from your old neighborhoods, more...
TECH: Hello, Friendly Internet. May I help you?
CUSTOMER: Oh, hello young man. I was wondering if you offer online banking?
TECH: We're an Internet service provider, ma'am. You can certainly use our service to connect to online banking.
CUSTOMER: What do I need to do that?
TECH: You just need the modem in your computer. That plugs into a phone jack. Sign up for an account, and sign up for online banking with your bank.
CUSTOMER: But where does the money come out?
TECH: I'm not sure I understand?
CUSTOMER: You know... Does the money come out from that slot on the computer?
When young Jose, newly arrived in the United States, made his first trip to Yankee Stadium, there were no tickets left for sale. Touched by his disappointment, a friendly ticket salesman found him a perch near the American flag. Later, Jose wrote home enthusiastically about his experience. "And the Americans, they are so friendly!" he concluded. "Before the game started, they all stood up and looked at me and sang,. ...' Jose, can you see?'"