Friendship Jokes / Recent Jokes

True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it is lost.

Managed Friendship PlanWelcome to Managed Friendship, a whole new way of thinking about friends and relationships. The Managed Friendship Plan (MFP) combines all the advantages of a traditional friendship network with important cost-saving features. How Does It Work? Under the Plan, you choose your friends from a network of pre-screened accredited Friendship Providers (FPs). All your friendship needs are met by members of your Managed Friendship Staff. What's Wrong with my Current Friends? If you're like most people, you are receiving friendship services from a network of providers haphazardly patched together from your old neighborhoods, jobs, and schools. The result is often costly duplication, inefficiency, and conflict. Many of your current friends may not meet national standards, responding to your needs with inappropriate, outmoded, or even experimental acts of friendship. Under Managed Friendship, your friendship needs are coordinated by your designated Best Friend, who will more...

Managed Friendship Plan
Welcome to Managed Friendship, a whole new way of thinking about friends and relationships. The Managed Friendship Plan (MFP) combines all the advantages of a traditional friendship network with important cost-saving features.
How Does It Work?
Under the Plan, you choose your friends from a network of pre-screened accredited Friendship Providers (FPs). All your friendship needs are met by members of your Managed Friendship Staff.
What's Wrong with my Current Friends?
If you're like most people, you are receiving friendship services from a network of providers haphazardly patched together from your old neighborhoods, jobs, and schools. The result is often costly duplication, inefficiency, and conflict. Many of your current friends may not meet national standards, responding to your needs with inappropriate, outmoded, or even experimental acts of friendship. Under Managed Friendship, your friendship needs are coordinated by your designated more...

Managed Friendship Plan
Welcome to Managed Friendship, a whole new way of thinking about
friends and relationships. The Managed Friendship Plan (MFP) combines
all the advantages of a traditional friendship network with important
cost-saving features.
How Does It Work?
Under the Plan, you choose your friends from a network of pre-screened
accredited Friendship Providers (FPs). All your friendship needs are
met by members of your Managed Friendship Staff.
What's Wrong with my Current Friends?
If you're like most people, you are receiving friendship services from
a network of providers haphazardly patched together from your old
neighborhoods, jobs, and schools. The result is often costly
duplication, inefficiency, and conflict. Many of your current friends
may not meet national standards, responding to your needs with
inappropriate, outmoded, or even experimental acts of friendship.
Under Managed Friendship, your friendship more...

Managed Friendship PlanWelcome to Managed Friendship, a whole new way of thinking about friends and relationships. The Managed Friendship Plan (MFP) combines all the advantages of a traditional friendship network with important cost-saving features.How Does It Work? Under the Plan, you choose your friends from a network of pre-screened accredited Friendship Providers (FPs). All your friendship needs are met by members of your Managed Friendship Staff.What's Wrong with my Current Friends? If you're like most people, you are receiving friendship services from a network of providers haphazardly patched together from your old neighborhoods, jobs, and schools. The result is often costly duplication, inefficiency, and conflict. Many of your current friends may not meet national standards, responding to your needs with inappropriate, outmoded, or even experimental acts of friendship. Under Managed Friendship, your friendship needs are coordinated by your designated Best Friend, who will more...

Are you tired of all those mushy 'friendship' poems that always sound good but never even come close to reality? Well, finally, here is a "friendship" poem that really speaks to true friendship and truth itself!
Friend,
When you are sad... I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
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When you are blue... I'll try to dislodge whatever is that is choking you.
When you smile... I'll know you finally got laid.
When you are scared... I will rag you about it every chance I get.
When you are worried... I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining.
When you are confused... I will use little words to explain it to your dumb ass.
When you are sick... stay the hell away from me until you're well again. I don't want whatever you have.
When you fall... I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
This is my oath... I pledge 'til the end. Why you may ask? more...

Lonely? Looking for your ideal partner? Here are some tips on what to expect.
First the women:
40-ish48
AdventurerHas had more partners than you ever will
AthleticFlat-chested
Average lookingUgly
BeautifulPathological liar
Contagious SmileBring your penicillin
EducatedCollege dropout
Emotionally SecureMedicated
FeministFat; ball buster
Free spiritSubstance user
Friendship firstTrying to live down reputation as slut
FunAnnoying
GentleComatose
Good ListenerBorderline Autistic
New-AgeAll body hair, all the time
Old-fashionedLights out, missionary position only
Open-mindedDesperate
OutgoingLoud
PassionateLoud
PoetDepressive Schizophrenic
ProfessionalReal Witch
RedheadShops the Clairol section
ReubenesqueGrossly Fat
RomanticLooks better by candle light
VoluptuousVery Fat
Weight proportional to heightHugely Fat
Wants SoulmateOne step away from stalking
WidowNagged first more...