Frog Jokes / Recent Jokes
This guy goes into a bar with a frog. A women says "what's up with the frog!?"
He explains, "well he likes to go down on women."
"No way!"
"Well, I can prove it to you."
They go back to her apartment... she strips and lays down, and he puts the frog between her legs pets him and says, "come on boy you can do it!"
The frog doesn't move, so one more time he pets the frog and says, "you can do it."
Still nothing, so the guy leans over puts his ear close to the frog. After a moment he says, "ok, but I am only gonna show you one more time!"
Top Ten Signs You Might Be a Frog
1. You get mad when you don't find a fly in your soup.
2. You buy out the supply of wart removal cream in your drugstore constantly.
3. French chefs are eyeing your legs and appear to be following you.
4. Bug lamps appear to you as a curse.
5. On applications, you list' Pond' as your home address.
6. Kermit is your idol.
7. You get mad whenever Miss Piggy makes a pass at Kermit.
8. Have seen the movie' The Fly' at least ten times
9. You live in fear that someday you will wind up in a child's aquarium.
10. France is the evil empire to you.
A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the
ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look
for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, "If you release me from this
trap, I will grant you three wishes."
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank
you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition
to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband
will get times ten!"
The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish,
she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the
world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish
will also make your husband the most handsome man
in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to."
The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will
be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes
only for me."
So she's the most beautiful woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the more...
What did one Lesbian Frog say to the other? Gee, we really do taste like chicken.
A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he will give him a free beer if he shows him something amazing. The bartender agrees, so the guys pulls out a hamster, who begins dancing and singing "Tuff Enuff" by the Fabulous Thunderbirds.
"That IS amazing!" says the bartender and gives the guy his free beer.
"If I show you something else amazing, will you give me another beer?" The bartender agrees, so the guy pulls out a small piano and a hamster and a frog. Now the hamster plays the piano while the frog dances and sings "You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet" by Bachman-Turner Overdrive.
The bartender, completely wowed, gives him another beer. A man in a suit, who's been watching the entire time, offers to buy the frog for a princely sum, which the man agrees to.
"Are you nuts?" asks the bartender. "You could've made a fortune off that frog."
"Can you keep a secret?" asks more...
There is this guy who has a 25 inch dick. He goes to a witch in the woods and asks her if she can make his dick smaller because he just can't please the ladies because it is just too big, he hasn't found a lady yet who likes it and he can't get any pleasure.
She tells him to go into the woods and he will find a frog. When he finds the frog, he is to ask it to marry him. If the frog says no, his cock will shrink 5 inches.
He goes into the woods and finds this frog. He asks "frog, will you marry me?" The frog says "no" And his prick shrinks five inches. The guys thinks to himself, "Wow, that was pretty cool. But, it's still too big." So he goes back to the frog and again asks the frog: "Frog, will you marry me?" Frog: "No, I won't marry you."
The guys dick shrinks another five inches. But that's still 15 inches and he thinks his chop is still just a little bit too big. But he thinks that 10 inches would be just great. He goes more...
A drunk walked into a tavern, sat down at the bar. He placed a small cardboard box on the bar, and ordered a beer. When the beer came, he opened the box, pulled out a tiny piano and bench and set them on the bar, then ordered another beer. When the beer came, he reached into the box, pulled out a frog, sat him on the piano bench and said, "PLAY". The frog immediately began to play the piano. It played all the favorites, and some classical and then launched into contemporary jazz. The man ordered another beer, and when it came he reached into the cardboard box and pulled out a little white mouse. He set this mouse on top of the piano and said "SING". The frog began to play the piano and the mouse began to sing, first some 'oldies but goodies', then all of the current favorites.A man at the bar who was watching all of this approached the drunk man and offered to buy this little outfit that he had. After a bit of negotiating, the drunk man agreed to sell it to the man more...