Frog Jokes / Recent Jokes
A little girl says, "Grandpa, can I sit on your lap?
"Why sure you can," her grandfather replied.
As she is sitting on grand dad's lap she says, "Grandpa, can you make a sound like a frog?"
"A sound like a frog? Well, sure Grandpa can make a sound like a frog."
The girl says, "Grandpa, will you please please MAKE a sound like a frog?"
Perplexed, her grand dad says, "Sweet heart, why do you want me to make a sound like a frog?"
And the little girl says, "'Cause Grandma said that when you croak, we're going to Florida!"
"Can you help me? asked Alice."No," said Negative. "I'm looking for a white consultant." Alice pointed in the direction she had been walking. "Did he go this way?" she asked. "No," said Negative. She pointed the other way. "Yes," said Positive. Soon Alice came upon a large brown table. The Consultant was there, as was an apparently Mad Hacker, and several creatures that Alice did not recognize. In one corner sat a Dormouse fast asleep. Over the table was a large sign that read "UNIX Conference." Everyone except the Dormouse was holding a paper cup, from which they were sampling what appeared to be custard. "Wrong flavor," they all declared as they passed the cup the cup to the creature on their right and graciously took the one being offered on their left. Alice watched them repeat this ritual three or four times before she approached and sat down. Immediately, a large toad leaped into her lap and looked at her more...
Family is driving in their car on holidays. Frog crosses the road and husband, who is driving, is able to stop the car. He gets out an takes the frog and carries him to the side of the road. Frog is grateful, thanks the man and tells him that he will grant him a wish.
Man says: please make my dog win the next dog race.
Frog asks to look at the dog which jumps out of the car. The frog notices that the dog has only got three legs and tells the man that he thinks it is almost impossible to fulfill his wish and asks that the man will tell him another wish.
Man says: well, then please help that my wife will win the next beauty contest in the area.
Frog asks him to tell his wife to get out of the car. Wife comes out of the car and approaches the frog.
The frog turns to the man and says: "Could I please have another look at the dog???".
There was this little boy about 12 years old walking down the sidewalk pulling a wagon and dragging a flattened frog on a string behind it, when he comes up to the doorstep of a house of ill repute.
He knocked on the door, and the madam came to answer it, saw him and asked what he wanted.
He said he wanted what she was selling inside, had the money to buy it, and wasn't leaving until he got it. She thought she would have some fun with him, so she told him to come in.
Once he got in, she told him to pick one of the girls he liked; he asked her if any of the girls had any diseases, and of course the madam said no. But he said he'd heard that all the men were talking about having to go to the hospital and get shots after making love with Mabel, and THAT was the girl he wanted, and that he had the money to pay for it.
The madam told him to go upstairs and go to the first room on the right. So he headed down the hall dragging the frog behind him.
Ten minutes later he more...
Family is driving in their car on holidays. Frog crosses the road and husband, who is driving, is able to stop the car. He gets out an takes the frog and carries him to the side of the road.
Frog is greatful, thanks the man and tells him that he will grant him a wish.
Man says, "Please make my dog win the nexr dog race."
Frog asks to look at the dog which jumps out of the car.
The frog notices that the dog has only got three legs and tells the man that he thinks it is almost impossible to fulful his wish and asks that the man will tell him another wish.
Man says, "Well, then please help that my wife will win the next beauty contest in the area."
Frog asks him to tell his wife to get out of the car. Wife comes out of the car and approaches the frog.
The frog turns to the man and says, "Could I please have another look at the dog???"
A guy was walking around town with a frog growing out of his head. Another man walks up to him and ask him, "What happened to you?"
The frog answered, "Well, it started as a wart on my ass."