Frozen Jokes / Recent Jokes
A new young blonde bride calls her mother in tears. She sobs, "Robert doesn't appreciate what I do for him." "Now, now," her mother comforted, "I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding." "No, mother," you don't understand. "I bought a frozen turkey roll and he yelled and screamed at me about the price!" "Well, the nerve of that lousy cheapskate!" says her mom. "Those turkey rolls are only a few dollars." "No, mother it wasn't the price of the turkey, it was the airplane ticket." "Airplane ticket.... What did you need an airplane ticket for?" "Well mother, when I went to fix it, I looked at the directions on the package and it said -' Prepare from a frozen state,' so I flew to Alaska!"
It was a cold winter day. An old man walked out onto a frozen lake, cut a hole in the ice, dropped in his fishing line, and waited patiently for a bite. He was there for almost an hour, without even a nibble, when a young boy walked out onto the ice, cut a hole in the ice next to him. The young boy dropped his fishing line and minutes later he hooked a Largemouth Bass. The old man couldn't believe his eyes but chalked it up to plain luck. Shortly thereafter, the young boy pulled in another large catch. The young boy kept catching fish after fish.
Finally, the old man couldn't take it any longer. "Son" he said, "I've been here for over an hour without even a nibble. You've been here only a few minutes and have caught a half dozen fish! How do you do it?" The boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rrarm." "What was that?" the old man asked. Again the boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rarrm." "Look," said the old more...
This couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out into town and party, so he says to his new wife: Honey, I'll be right back...
Where are you going coochi cooh...? Asks the wife.
I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer.
The wife puts her hands on her hips and says to him:
You want a beer my love...? Then she opens the door to the refrigerator and shows him 25 different kinds of beer brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc....
The husband doesn't know what to do, and the only thing that he can think of saying is: Yes, loolie loolie. .. but the bar. ... you know. .. the frozen glass.
He didn't get to finish saying the sentence, when the wife interrupts him by saying: You want a frozen glass puppy face...? She takes out of the freezer a huge beer mug so frozen that the wife was getting the chills from holding it.
The husband looking a bit more...
A man boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioned in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out. Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior. Shortly before landing in New York, she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, "Would the gentleman who gave me the crabs in New Orleans, please raise your hand?" Not one hand went up. .. so she took them home and ate them. Two lessons here: 1. Lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are. 2. Blondes aren't as dumb as most folks think
The Hudson River in New York is frozen. People can’t really swim in it,but at least it makes a better runway for Chesley Sullenberger.
The Tearful Bride... A new young blonde bride calls her mother in tears. She sobs, "Robert doesn't appreciate what I do for him." "Now, now," her mother comforted, "I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding." "No, mother," you don't understand. "I bought a frozen turkey roll and he yelled and screamed at me about the price!" "Well, the nerve of that lousy cheapskate!" says her mom. "Those turkey rolls are only a few dollars." "No, mother it wasn't the price of the turkey, it was the airplane ticket." "Airplane ticket.... What did you need an airplane ticket for?" "Well mother, when I went to fix it, I looked at the directions on the package and it said -' Prepare from a frozen state,' so I flew to Alaska!"