Fun Jokes / Recent Jokes

A teacher said to her little student Suzy, "Punctuate the following sentence: Fun fun fun worry worry worry."
Little Suzy thought for a moment and began her reply, "Let's see. Fun period fun period fun no period worry worry worry!!!"

A lady approaches a priest and tells him, “Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots, but They only say “Hi, we are prostitutes. Do you want to have some FUN? ’”
“That’s terrible! ”, the priest exclaimed, “Bring your two talking female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots who I have taught to pray and read the Bible, then my parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to pray and worship. ”
So the next day, the lady brings her female parrots to the priest’s house. The priest’s two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage.
The lady puts her female talking parrots in and they say, “Hi, we are Prostitutes! Do you want to have some FUN? ”
One male parrot looks over to the other male parrot and says, “PUT THE BIBLES AWAY! OUR PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED!!!!! ”

A western reporter goes to Armenia to write articles about that land. He meets an old man in a village and asks him about any memorable events in his life. The old man says "well one time my donkey got lost, so me and my neighbors got some vodka and went looking for it. We looked and looked and finally found the donkey. Then we drank the vodka and one by one started screwing the donkey, it was a lot of fun." The reporter figured he can't write an article about that, so he asked the old man to tell him another story. The old man said: "well, one time my neighbor's wife got lost, so me and all the village men got some vodka and went out looking for her. We looked and looked and finally we found her. Then we drank the vodka and one by one screwed the neighbor's wife. It was a lot of fun." The reporter, feeling frustrated, told the old man that he couldn't write articles about those stories and asked him if he had any dramatic or sad memories that he could talk about. more...

There was a brunette standing along side a busy road chanting "88, 88, 88, 88..."

A blonde came up to her and said, "That looks like fun, can I try?"

The brunette said, "Sure."

So the blonde chanted, "88, 88, 88, 88.."

"Well," said the brunette, "that is fun. But what is even more fun is if you say it in the middle of the street."

So the blonde said, "OK." and stood in the middle of the street. "88, 88, 88, 88-" BAM! she was run over by a car, completely flattened.

Along the side of the road, the brunette began to chant, "89, 89, 89, 89..."

2 differences in english expressions between UK and North America:
In UK, "to knock one up" means to knock on their door to wake them up. In Canada it means to get someone prengant.
I had fun with that on while visiting UK with some Canadian friends I told a young lady we would come by in the morning to knock her up. Too bad I can't portray the looks on their faces across the Net.
In UK "up yours" is a drinking toast, I guess it is short for "up your glass". Here, "up yours" is an insult, usually accompanied by a raised middle finger, and means you should insert something up your you-know-what.
You can have lots of fun with that one, but please be careful!

Editor's note: It's only mildy amusing and may offend.. . Have fun!

I woke early one morning
The earth lay cool and still

When suddenly a tiny bird
Perched on my window sill.

He sang a song so lovely
So carefree and so gay,

That slowly all my troubles
Began to slip away.

He sang of far off places
Of laughter and of fun,

It seemed his very trilling,
Brought up the morning sun.

I stirred beneath the covers
Crept slowly out of bed,

Then gently shut the window
And crushed his damn head.

...............I'm NOT a morning person!

Here's a fun tongue twister.
Read the following list and then follow the instructions at the end.
Read it LOUD and REAL FAST... see if you can do it!
DON'T read the instructions until you get it right!!!

This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is fool cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat
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Did ya do it? Now go back up and read the third word in each line starting from the top to the bottom: )