Furious Jokes / Recent Jokes

"Waiter!" shouted the furious diner, "How dare you serve me this! There's a damn TWIG in my soup!"
"My apologies," said the waiter. "I'll inform the branch manager."

One day an out-of-work mime is visiting the zoo and decides to earn some money as a street performer.

Unfortunately, as soon as he starts to draw a crowd, a zookeeper grabs him and drags him into his office. The zookeeper explains to the mime that the zoos most popular attraction, a gorilla, has died suddenly and the keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off. He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one. The mime accepts.

So the next morning the mime puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage before the crowd comes. He discovers that it's a great job. He can sleep all he wants, play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime.

However, eventually the crowds tire of him and he tires of just swinging on tires.

He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he more...

One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer. Unfortunately, as soon as he starts to draw a crowd, a zoo keeper grabs him and drags him into his office.
The zoo keeper explains to the mime that the zoo's most popular attraction, a gorilla has died suddenly and the keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off. He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one. The mime accepts.
So the next morning the mime puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage before crowd comes. He discovers that it's a great job. He can sleep all he wants, play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime. However, eventually the crowds tire of him and he tires of just swinging on tires. He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he climbs to the top of his cage, more...

The teacher was furious with her son. "Just because you've been put in my class, there's no need to think you can take liberties. You're a pig." The boy said nothing. "Well! Do you know what a pig is?" "Yes, Mom," said the boy. "The offspring of a swine."

A woman comes out of the shower one morning. Her husband sneaks up behind her, grabs a hold of her breasts, and says 'honey, if you firm these up a little bit you wouldn't have to wear a bra quite as much.'
She was furious and didn't speak to him for the rest of the week.
The next week, as she comes out of the shower, he sneaks up behind her again, grabs a hold of her buttocks, and says 'honey, if you firm these up a little bit, you wouldn't have to wear a girdle quite as much.
Well she was furious.
Next morning, he comes out of the shower, and she sneaks up behind him, grasp a hold of his penis, and says 'you know honey, if you firm this up a little bit, I wouldn't have to see your brother quite as much!!!"

Once, a gay man went to heaven. At the Great Gate, Saint Peter was waiting for him. After rewieving his records Saint Pete decided to let him in. "Follow me" he said, opening the gate and walking in.
After some walk, Saint Pete's keys accidentally fell on the ground. Unaware, he bent over to pick up the keys. That was something the gay man just couldn't resist, so he jumped on him and did his thing. Saint Pete was furious. "If you do that again, You'll go straight to hell! But follow me, we're almost there."
After some more walk, Pete dropped his keys again, and again, the gay man jumped on him. Saint Pete was even more furious than before, but decided to give the gay guy one last chance.
Again they walk and for the third time Pete drops his keys, so he bends over and picks them up. The gay guy, having no self control jumps on him. Pete is now fed up and sends the gay guy straight to hell.
A few weeks later, Saint Pete goes down to hell for his more...

This blond in her new red corvette convertable pulled out in front of this 18 wheeler. The driver was furious and he told her to pull over. When she did he asked her why she pulled out in front of him and she didnt reply so he went to his truck pulled out a can of spray paint and made a circle. He said for her to stay in the circle and not step one foot out of it. He then went back to his truck and got a bat and started to trash her car. He turned and say her laughin. This just then made hijm even more furious and he hit the car more rapidly. He saw she kept laughing and just mutilated her car. Well he turned and asked her what was so funny and she said:
" I stepped outta the circle 3 times when you weren't looking! "