Mime Jokes

If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?
Why call it "take" a dump, when you leave something behind?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Why is there an expiry date on my sour cream container?
Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?

If a tree falls in a forest, and lands on a mime... does anyone care?

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

One day an out-of-work mime is visiting the zoo and decides to earn some money as a street performer.

Unfortunately, as soon as he starts to draw a crowd, a zookeeper grabs him and drags him into his office. The zookeeper explains to the mime that the zoos most popular attraction, a gorilla, has died suddenly and the keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off. He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one. The mime accepts.

So the next morning the mime puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage before the crowd comes. He discovers that it's a great job. He can sleep all he wants, play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime.

However, eventually the crowds tire of him and he tires of just swinging on tires.

He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he more...

If the police arrest a mime...... do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
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The bonds of matrimony are a good investment, only when the interest is kept up.
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In a small mid western conservative town, a new bar/tavern started a building to open up their business. The local Baptist church started a campaign to block the bar from opening with petitions and prayers.
Work progressed, however right up till the week before opening, when a lightning strike hit the bar and it burned to the ground. The church folks were rather smug in their outlook after that, till the bar owner sued the church on the grounds that the church was ultimately responsible for the demise of his building, either through direct or indirect actions or means.
The church vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection to the buildings demise in its reply to the court.
As the case made its way into court, the judge looked over the paperwork at the hearing and more...