Further Jokes / Recent Jokes

A priest was driving along when he saw a nun at the side of the road. He pulled over and offered her a ride, which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, which forced her habit to open and reveal a beautiful leg. The priest looked over and nearly had an accident.
After regaining control of the car, he slyly slid his hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and immediately said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" Flustered, he apologized profusely and forced himself to remove his hand. However, he was unable to remove his eyes from her leg.
A little further on, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" Again, the priest apologized and said, "I'm sorry, Sister, but the flesh is weak."
Finally arriving at the convent, the nun got out, gave him a meaningful glance, and went on her way.
As soon as he arrived at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a bible and looked up Psalm 129. It more...

A man is walking down the street in Dublin when he hears a woman screaming and detects a faint smell of burning in the air. He runs down the street and around a corner and sees a huge group of people standing watching a blazing building. On the tenth floor of the building a woman, clutching a bundle to her chest, is leaning out of a window screaming for someone to save her baby.
The man steps forward and calls up to the woman, "Throw down your baby and I'll catch it!"
"No! No!" the woman shouts back. "You might miss or drop my baby and she'll be killed!"
"No I won't!" shouts the man. "I am Alec Maguire. I'm the goalkeeper for Ireland's national football [soccer] team. I've never missed a match in ten years and in all that time I have never let the ball into my net."
"What? Not once?" calls the woman.
"No!" shouts back the man. "Not once. Every football player in the world agrees that I more...

If a dog bites a man, they say, it is not news, but if a man bites a dog it certainly is. Well, yesterday this incident actually happened at the Pettah bus stand, Colombo. A man bit a dog. And this is how the different sections of the Sri Lankan press reported the event.

DAILY NEWS:
UNP THUG BITES A DOG
Yesterday, an innocent dog was bitten in front of a large crowd at the Pettah bus stand, by a man, who was later identified as a supporter of the opposition leader, Mr. Ranil Wickremasinghe. Daily News learns that the dog received only minor injuries but following the immediate intervention of the President HE Chandrika Bandaranaike Kumaratunge, he was admitted to the intensive care unit of the Colombo General Hospital Canine ward. In a statement, President also condemned the attack and questioned how long the Opposition leader intends to maintain silence on the inhumanity and cruelty of his supporters over innocent animals.? We should take this act very seriously. more...