Gabor Jokes

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Gabor.
Gabor who?
Gabor'n to shop.

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Gabor!
Gabor who!
Gabor'n to shop!

Marriage Humor Marriage Humor: --------------- Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success. - Jim Backus I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. - David Bissonette I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again. - Noel Coward, 1956 A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished. - Zsa Zsa Gabor I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. - Sacha Guitry Marriage is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important. - Lisa Hoffman She's a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Marry her before she finds one. - Oscar Levant to Harpo Marx upon meeting Harpo's fiancee Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe- Jackie Mason Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside more...

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. - David Bissonette
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished. - Zsa Zsa Gabor
I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. - Sacha Guitry
Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Montaigne
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Hemant Joshi
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution. - Mae West
"I was married by a judge...I should have asked for a jury." - George more...

...Zsa Zsa Gabor was issued a ticket by Beverly Hills police for erratic driving. Miss Gabor ran 2 red lights, drove over a stop sign, drove for 2 blocks on the sidewalk, hit a fire hydrant and 3 parked cars. She then apparently lost control of the car.