Gang Jokes / Recent Jokes
"American Beauty and the Beast"
The Beast has a midlife crisis and takes a job at a fast-food restaurant, while the Beauty has an affair with a real-estate tycoon.
"The Straight Love Story"
Ryan O'Neal tragically runs over Ali McGraw while mowing his lawn.
"That Girl, Interrupted"
Marlo Thomas goes to the nuthouse.
"The Talented Mr. Whipple"
An elderly toilet-paper spokes- man goes on a killing spree in Europe, murdering anyone who squeezes the Charmin.
"Soylent Green Mile"
Charlton Heston finds out what prison food is really made of.
"All About My Mummy"
Pedro Almodovar's bittersweet saga about a 3,000-year-old mummy and his struggle to find love in the modern world.
"The Animal House Rules"
A group of frat boys, led by John Belushi, drink too much hard cider and open an abortion clinic, with predictably wacky more...
You have a nickname like Pinto, Bunty, Bunny, Dolly, or Penny. Your last name is longer than ten letters, i. e. Chandraprakash or Subramanian. You get high off butter chicken and/or mango frooti. Your gang's name is the Fob Squad or Fobby By Nature. Your gang's uniform is a Michael Jackson T-shirt with Rambo pants. Your top pick-up line is "Just have your mummy call my mummy baby, it isbeing all good." You use a whole bottle of hair gel whenever you leave the house. At clubs, you're overheard saying, "So what if my mummy picks out myclothes, you know this gear is fly baby!" (for guys) You wear tight-ass jeans. (for girls) You have to jack up your pants to get them tight. (for girls) You have a mustache. (for guys and girls) You are a pencil-bearded Malu. Your the captain and sole member of your school's cricket team. You play the sitar and/or tabla three hours everyday. You go to Rutgers University or the University of Maryland at CollegePark. You wear a turban, more...
On the subject of Cheers, my favorite setup occurred as follows:
Diane comes in to Cheers and the gang virtually ignores her. Then Norm walks in.
Gang: NORM!!!
Norm: Hello everybody.
Diane: How come you guys can't do that when I walk in?
Sam: You know, you're right Diane. Walk out and come back in.
Diane walks out and then comes back in.
Gang: NORM!!!
A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer's club by mistake. The old legal lions gave them a fight for their life and their money.
The gang was very happy to escape. "It ain't so bad," one crook noted. "We got $25 between us."
The boss screamed: "I warned you to stay clear of lawyers... we had $100 when we broke in!"
A guy just died and he's at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted, while St. Peter is leafin' through this Big Book to see if the guy is worthy. St. Peter goes through the Book several times and furrows his brow
"You know, I can't see that you ever did anything really bad in your life, but you never did anything really good either. If you can point to even one REALLY GOOD DEED -- you're in." The guy thinks for a moment.
"Yeah, there was this one time when I was driving down the highway and saw a giant group of Biker Gang Rapists assaulting this poor girl. I slowed down my car to see what was going on and sure enough, there they were, about 50 of' em ripping the clothes off this terrified young woman. Infuriated, I got out of my car, grabbed a tire iron out of my trunk, and walked up to the leader of the gang, a huge guy with a studded leather jacket and a chain running from his nose to his ear. As I walked up to the leader, the Biker Gang Rapists formed a more...
A drugged-up Queens man went on a shooting-spree yesterday, hitting only red cars because he believed he was being threatened by the Bloods street gang. Meanwhile, handicapped people all over the city are hiding out, just in case he next concludes that he’s being threatened by the Crips.
A guy arrives at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted. St. Peter is reading through the Big Book to see if the guy's name is written in it. After several minutes, St. Peter closes the book, furrows his brow, and says, "I'm sorry, I don't see your name written in the Book." "How current is your copy?" he asks. "I get a download every ten minutes," St. Peter replies, "why do you ask?" "I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I was always the stubborn type. It was not until my death was immanent that I cried out to God, so my name probably hasn't arrived to your copy yet." "I'm glad to hear that," Pete says, "but while we're waiting for the update to come through, can tell me about a really good deed that you did in your life?" The guys thinks for a moment and says, "Humm, well there was this one time when I was drivin' down a road and I saw a giant group of biker gang members harassing this poor girl. I slowed down, more...