Garage Jokes / Recent Jokes
Young Justin has a cursing problem, and his father's getting tired of it.
He decides to ask a shrink what to do. The shrink says, "Negative reinforcement. Since Christmas is coming up, ask Justin what he wants from Santa. If he curses while he tells you his wish list, leave a pile of dog poop in place of each gift he requests."
Two days before Christmas, Justin's father asks him what he wants for Christmas. "I want a damn teddy bear lying beside me when I wake up. When I go downstairs, I want to see a damn train going around the damn tree. And when I go outside, I want to see a damn bike leaning up against the damn garage."
On Christmas morning, Justin wakes up and rolls into a pile of dog poop. Confused, he walks downstairs and sees another pile under the tree. He walks outside, looks at a huge pile of dog poo by the garage, and walks inside. His dad smiles and asks, "What did Santa bring you this year?"
Justin replies, "I think I more...
There were 4 sardars in Mumbai. They decided to start a business. They had a lot of discussions on the type of business and finally decided to start a hotel. They selected the best of locations and cooks and built the hotel. The hotel was inaugrated and was awaiting its first customer. The sardars waited and waited but
nobody turned up. The story was the same the next day. A week passed but nobody turned up.
WHY? -B'coz there was a sign at the entrance "Visitors not allowed"
After the failure of their hotel they decided to start an auto garage. They bought the best of car servicing equipments and soon started the garage. The 4 sardars waited that day for the first car to arrive butno car entered their garage.
WHY? B'coz their garage was on the first floor.
After this failure they decided to fall back on the good old taxi driving. They bought a new Premier Padmini running on CNG and began to look for passengers. They drew past Church Gate but nobody hailed more...
one night it was a boys birthday. and his parents told him he had to take a shower so he said but its my birthday. they said NOW! he said ok but daddy will you take a shower with me his dad said oh allright so they took a shower together and while they were in there he said daddy whats that while he was pointing at his dads dick. and his dad said its my limozine. when they got out of the shower his parents decided he wasnt clean enough so they said he had to take another shower and the little boy replied mommy will you take a shower with me she said ok. while they were in the shower he said mommy whats that and pointed at her pussy. she said it was her garage and then he said mommy what are those and pointed at her boobs and she said those are my headlights. and so that night when they told him to go to bed he asked if he could sleep in there bed with them they said ok but dont look under the covers and he says ok. that night the bed was shaking so he got curious and looked under the more...
A woman came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another woman.
With superhuman strength born of fury, she dragged her husband down the stairs to the garage and put his "manhood" in a vise. She then secured it tightly and removed the handle. Next she picked up a hacksaw.
The husband terrified, screamed, "Stop! Stop! You're not going to.. to.. cut it off are you?!"
The wife, with a gleam of revenge in her eye, said, "Nope. You are. I'm going to set the garage on fire."
Did you hear what Dumb Donald did when he offered to paint the garage for his dad in the Summer vacation?
The instructions said put on three coats, so he went in and put on his jacket, his raincoat and his overcoat.
A little girl ask her mom if she can take a shower with her. The mom says okay but don't look up or down. The little girl says okay. So they're taking a shower and the little girl looks up and says mommy what are those?
The mom says oh those are my headlights. Then she looks down and says mommy what's that? The mom says oh uh that's my garage. The next day the little girl asks her dad if she can take a shower with him. He says okay but don't look down. So they're in the shower and she looks down and says daddy what's that?
He says that's my limo. That same night she asks mommy daddy can sleep with you guys and the mom and dad say yeah sure. So that night the little girl wakes up and looks under the covers and says "
Mommy mommy turn on your headlights dady's limo is going into your garage !"
GARAGE SALE: Place an add in the classified section of your local newspaper advertising a GIGANTIC Garage Sale listing the address of your victim. Advertise televisons, cam-corder, vintage automobile, antiques, etc. Sale begins at 6 a. m. Come early!
X-RAYS AT AIRPORTS: Purchase a large adult bedroom toy. Wrap it in a large amount of tin foil. Secretly hide it in a piece of the victims carry on luggage. As it goes through the airport x-ray machine the contents of the device will be shielded by the tin foil and will be unwrapped-inspected by airport security officials. This one will make your sides hurt from laughter, if present during the inspection. Good for both male and female victims.
LOST KEYS: Get a hold of some old useless keys (car, house, etc) Place victim's name, phone number and $50 reward...... if found and returned. Drop the keys in one of the least desirable areas of town.
PAPER MONEY: Write a sexually orientated solicitation message, more...