Garage Jokes / Recent Jokes

Laws of Household PhysicsEver notice that the laws of household physics are every bit as real as every other law in the universe? Here are a few examples: 1. A child's eagerness to assist in any project varies in inverse proportion to the ability to actually do the work involved. 2. Leftovers always expand to fill all available containers plus one. 3. A newly washed window gathers dirt at double the speed of an unwashed window. 4. The availability of a ballpoint pen is inversely proportional to how badly it is needed. 5. The same clutter that will fill a one-car garage will fill a two-car garage. 6. Three children plus two cookies equals a fight. 7. The potential for disaster is in direct proportion to the number of TV remote controls divided by the number of viewers. 8. The number of doors left open varies inversely with the outdoor temperature. 9. The capacity of any hot water heater is equal to one and one-half sibling showers. 10. What goes up must come down, except for bubble more...

A little girl asked her Mom, "Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?" Mom says, "No, because the dog is in heat." "What does that mean?" asked the child. "Go ask your father. I think he is in the garage."

The little girl went to the garage and asked "Dad, may I take Susie for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said that Susie was in heat, and to come talk to you."

Dad said, " Bring Susie over here" He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's rear-end with it and said, "Okay, you can go now, but keep Susie on the leash and only go one time around the block." The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with NO DOG on the leash.

Dad asked, "Where is Susie?"

The little girl said, "She will be here in a minute, she ran out of gas about halfway down the block and another dog is pushing her home."

A penguin is driving down the road when his car starts to give him all kinds of trouble...the engine sputters, steam pours out of his hood and there's fluids pouring out on the road. He pulls into a garage and the mechanic tells him it'll be at least a half-hour until he can even tell him what the problem is.

The penguin walks around, has a cup of coffee and then comes across an ice cream shop, where he orders a double vanilla cone, getting it all over his face. He goes back to the garage and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem.

The mechanic looks up and tells him' Looks like you've blown a seal.'

The penguin says' No! Really, I just had an ice cream cone!'

a boy walks in on his mum in the shower, he looks at her croch and asks whats that and she replies thats my garage.later the boy walks in on his dad in the shower, he looks at his dads croch and asks what that to which his dad replies thats my car. the next day the boy walks in on his mum and dad in she shower together having sex and the boy asks"daddy, whats your car doing in mummys garage"?

A woman came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another woman. With superhuman strength borne of fury, she dragged her husband down the stairs to the garage and put his penis in a vise. She then secured it tightly and removed the handle. Next she picked up a hacksaw. The husband terrified, screamed, "Stop! Stop! You're not going to......to....cut it off are you?!"

The wife, with a gleam of revenge in her eye, said, "Nope. You are. I'm going to set the garage on fire."

Every Saturday morning he has an early tee time. He gets up early and eager, golfs all day long, sometimes 36 holes. Well, one Saturday morning he gets up early, dresses quietly, gets his clubs out of the closet and goes to his car to drive to the course. Coming out of his garage rain is pouring down - torrential downpour. There is snow mixed in with the rain, and the wind is blowing 50 mph. He returns to the garage. He comes back into the house and turns the TV to the weather channel. He finds it's going to be bad weather all day long, so he puts his clubs back into the closet, quietly undresses and slips back into bed. There he cuddles up to his wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispers, "The weather out there is terrible." To which she sleepily replies, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out golfing in that crap?"

Every Saturday morning the husband goes fishing. He gets up early, makes his lunch, hooks up his boat and off he goes, all day long.
So, one Saturday morning he gets up early, dresses quietly, makes his lunch, puts on his long johns, grabs the dog and goes to the garage to hook up his boat to the truck. Coming out of his garage, rain is pouring down in a torrential downpour. There is snow mixed in with the rain and the wind is blowing 50 miles per hour.
inutes later, he returns to the garage. He comes back into the house and turns the TV to check the weather forecast. He finds it's going to be bad weather all day long, so he puts his boat back in the garage, quietly undresses and slips back into bed.
There he cuddles up to his wife's back and whispers, "The weather out there is terrible."
To which she sleepily replies, "I know, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"