Garbage Jokes / Recent Jokes
Real opcodesAAC Alter All Commands AAD Alter All Data AAO Add And Overflow AAR Alter At Random AB Add Backwards ABC AlphaBetize Code ABR Add Beyond Range ACC Advance CPU Clock ACDC Allow Controller to Delete Contents ACDP Allow Controller to Die Peacefully ACQT Advance Clock to Quitting Time ADB Another Dumb Bug AEE Absolve Engineering Errors AFF Add Fudge Factor AFHB Align Fullword on Halfword Boundary AFP Abnormalize Floating Point AFR Abort Funny Routine AFVC Add Finagle`s Variable Constant AGB Add GarBage AGWA Add and Get Wrong Answer AI Add Improper AIB Attack Innocent Bystander AIB Attack Innocent Bystanders AISG Access and Improve Student Grade AMM Add Mayo and Mustard AMM Answer My Mail AMS Add Memory to System ANC ANnoy Consultant AOI Annoy Operator Immediate AR Advance Rudely AR Alter Reality ARN Add and Reset to Non-zero ARN Add and Reset to Nonzero ARZ Add and Reset to Zero AS Add Sideways ASQGSA ASCII Stupid Question, Get a Stupid ANSI AT Accumulate Trivia AWP Argue With more...
What They Say What It Means ============= ============= spacious hole in the wall to anyone living in their car that's why we're charging $200 above the going rate easy access to Particularly in Mountain View and Sunnyvale, this transportation can mean: (a) in the flight path of Moffet Field (b) next to the railroad tracks (c) next to a major road/freeway/highway (d) a&b, b&c, a&c above (e) all of the above friendly staff Doberman pincher mentality free utilities That's the only way we can entice people in this dump. Would you pay THIS rent AND the water & garbage? heated pool only when the sun's out only when there's water in it great views reach out and touch your neighbor! overlooking the garbage dumpster overlooking the pool overlooking the cute guys/gals apartment affordable to: (a) anyone with an income of $100 K (b) anyone with wealthy parents (c) anyone who is wealthy (d) anyone who wants to spend $$$ on housing pets welcome kids aren't we just never got the odor out AEK All more...
A woman could never get her husband to do anything around the house. He would come home from work, sit in front of the TV, eat dinner, and sit some more - would never do those little household repairs that most husbands take care of. This frustrated the woman quite a bit. One day the toilet stopped up. When her husband got home, she said sweetly, 'Honey, the toilet is clogged. Would you look at it?' Her husband snarled, 'What do I look like? The tidy-bowl man?' and sat down on the sofa.
The next day, the garbage disposal wouldn't work. When her husband got home, she said, very nicely, 'Honey, the disposal won't work. Would you try to fix it for me?' Once again, he growled, 'What do I look like? Mr. Plumber?'
The next day, the washing machine was on the blink. When her husband got home, she steeled her courage and said, 'Honey, the washer isn't running. Would you check on it?' And again was met with a snarl, 'What do I look like? The Maytag repairman?'
Finally, she had had more...
Person 1: What's the difference between a blonde and garbage? Person 2: Garbage gets taken out at least once a week. Person 1: Wrong. You tie the garbage up before you take it out.
Yo mama's so poor, she chases a garbage truck with a grocery list!
The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
I will not roll my toys behind the fridge, behind the sofa or under the bed.
I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.
I will not eat the cats' food, before they eat it or after they throw it up.
I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to get sick.
I will not throw up in the car.
I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
"Kitty box crunchies," although they are tasty, are not food.
I will not eat any more Kleenex or napkins and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.
The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.
I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am more...
You’ve come to the annoying realization that your parents were right about almost everything. The bag boy volunteers to help load groceries into your car-in the “ten items or less” lane. You’ve stopped supporting your children, and started supporting your parents. You’ve found yourself discussing rain gutters. You remember your kid’s names, just not always the right one. You have nightmares about forgetting to move the garbage cans to the street for the garbage collector. Your high school yearbook is now home to three different species of mold. You buy “age-defying” makeup and “antiwrinkle” creams and believe they work. You’ve realized that all those geeky people in Bermuda shorts walking around Disney World include you. You recognize Led Zeppelin songs that have been turned into elevator Muzak. As a public service, you have agreed to never appear on the beach in a Speedo again. You’ve had three opportunities to buy every single Disney Animated Classic-“for more...