Garbage Jokes / Recent Jokes

A woman could never get her husband to do anything around the house. He would come home from work, sit in front of the tv, eat dinner, and sit some more–would never do those little household repairs that most husbands take care of. This frustrated the woman quite a bit. One day the toilet stopped up. When her husband got home, she said sweetly, “Honey, the toilet is clogged. Would you look at it? ” Her husband snarled, “What do I look like? The tidy-bowl man? ” and sat down on the sofa. The next day, the garbage disposal wouldn’t work. When her husband got home, she said, very nicely, “Honey, the disposal won’t work. Would you try to fix it for me? ” Once again, he growled, “What do I look like? Mr. Plumber? ” The next day, the washing machine was on the blink. When her husband got home, she steeled her courage and said, “Honey, the washer isn’t running. Would you check on it? ” And again was met with a snarl, “What do I look like? The Maytag repairman? more...

One day, a teacher, a garbage collector and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question.

St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, "What was the name of the ship that crashed into an iceberg? They just made a movie about it."

The teacher answered quickly, "That would be the Titanic." St. Peter let him through the gate. St. Peter turned to the garbage man and decided to make the question a little harder, "How many people died on the ship?"

Fortunately for him, the trash man had just seen the movie and answered, "About 1,500."

"That's right! You may enter." St. Peter then turned to the lawyer. "Name them."

A father is asked by his friend, "Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?" "Yes, he wants to be a garbage collector," he replies To this his friend responds, "Strange ambition to have for a career." "Well, he thinks that garbage collectors only work on Tuesdays!"

Your wife is the only one that the geese will allow into the laundry room.Any of your children learned to make very realistic animal noises before they learned to talk.You have to stop a leak in your flatbottom boat with gum and chewing tobacco.You have to pay your hair care professional in weekly installments of $3.00.You live close enough to town to get garbage service, but don't use it because they won't come down your driveway to get it.The fellows on the big garbage moving equipment recoginze your wife.... and wave to her.Your wife picks thru your garbage cans looking for any bait that may have grown in them since the last time you went.You have ever removed the 3-9 zoom scope from your deer rifle to use at a KISS concert.

What's the difference between a guitar player and a bag of garbage?
The garbage gets taken out at least once a week.

Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates.

St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question.

St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, "What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They just made a movie about it."

The teacher answered quickly, "That would be the Titanic." St. Peter let him through the gate.

St. Peter turned to the garbage man and, figuring Heaven didn`t REALLY need all the odors that this guy would bring with him, decided to make the question a little harder: "How many people died on the ship?"

Fortunately for him, the trash man had just seen the movie, and answered, "1, 228."

"That`s right! You may enter."

St. Peter then turned to the lawyer. "Name them."

A woman could never get her husband to do anything around the house. He would come home from work, sit in front of the tv,
eat dinner, and sit some more--would never do those little household repairs that most husbands take care of. This frustrated
the woman quite a bit.
One day the toilet stopped up. When her husband got home, she said sweetly, "Honey, the toilet is clogged. Would you look at
it?" Her husband snarled, "What do I look like? The tidy-bowl man?" and sat down on the sofa.
The next day, the garbage disposal wouldn't work. When her husband got home, she said, very nicely, "Honey, the disposal
won't work. Would you try to fix it for me?" Once again, he growled, "What do I look like? Mr. Plumber?"
The next day, the washing machine was on the blink. When her husband got home, she steeled her courage and said, "Honey,
the washer isn't running. Would you check on it?" And again was met more...