Gate Jokes / Recent Jokes
A crowded United flight was canceled. A single agent was rebooking a line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way up to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, "I have to be on this flight, and it has to be FIRST CLASS!"
The agent replied, "I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out."
The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "Do you have any idea who I am?"
Without even hesitating, the gate agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone. "May I have your attention please?" she began saying, her voice bellowing throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at the gate, WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to the gate, it would be most more...
A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, 'You've been a good cat all of these years. Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask.'
The cats says, 'Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors.' God says, 'Say no more.' And instantly, a fluffy pillow appears. A few days later, 6 mice are killed in a tragic accident and they go to Heaven. God meets them at the gate with the same offer that He made the cat.
The mice said, 'All our lives we've had to run. We've been chased by cats, dogs and even women with brooms. If we could only have a pair of roller skates, we wouldn't have to run anymore.' God says, 'Say no more.' And instantly, each mouse is fitted with a beautiful pair of tiny roller skates.
About a week later, God decides to check and see how the cat is doing. The cat is sound asleep on his new pillow. God gently wakes him and asks,
'How are you doing? Are you happy here?'
The more...
A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, 'You've been a good cat all of these years. Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask.'
The cats says, 'Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors.' God says, 'Say no more.' And instantly, a fluffy pillow appears. A few days later, 6 mice are killed in a tragic accident and they go to Heaven. God meets them at the gate with the same offer that He made the cat.
The mice said, 'All our lives we've had to run. We've been chased by cats, dogs and even women with brooms. If we could only have a pair of roller skates, we wouldn't have to run anymore.' God says, 'Say no more.' And instantly, each mouse is fitted with a beautiful pair of tiny roller skates.
About a week later, God decides to check and see how the cat is doing. The cat is sound asleep on his new pillow. God gently wakes him and asks,
'How are you doing? Are you happy here?'
The more...
Q.How do you know if you are at a gay tail gate party?
A.The hotdogs taste like crap
A rancher from Central Arizona died and went on to the Great Beyond. As heapproached the great gate, he noticed that the terrain was bare with nogreenery. He remarked to the gate keeper, "Howdy Saint Peter. Say, thislooks just like Arizona." "The gatekeeper replied, "First of all, I'm notSaint Peter... and second, you really don't know where you are at all, do you?"
A cattleman from West Texas died & went on to the Great Beyond. As he approached the great gate, he noticed that the terrain was bare with no greenery. He remarked to the gate keeper, "Howdy Saint Peter. Say, this looks just like Texas.""The gatekeeper replied, "First of all, I'm not Saint Peter and second, you really don't know where you are at all, do you ?"
A rancher from Central Arizona died and went on to the Great Beyond. As he approached the great gate, he noticed that the terrain was bare with no greenery. He remarked to the gate keeper, "Howdy Saint Peter. Say, this looks just like Arizona."
"The gatekeeper replied, "First of all, I'm not Saint Peter... and second, you really don't know where you are at all, do you?"