Gate Jokes / Recent Jokes

Once, a gay man went to heaven. At the Great Gate, Saint Peter was waiting for him. After rewieving his records Saint Pete decided to let him in. "Follow me" he said, opening the gate and walking in.
After some walk, Saint Pete's keys accidentally fell on the ground. Unaware, he bent over to pick up the keys. That was something the gay man just couldn't resist, so he jumped on him and did his thing. Saint Pete was furious. "If you do that again, You'll go straight to hell! But follow me, we're almost there."
After some more walk, Pete dropped his keys again, and again, the gay man jumped on him. Saint Pete was even more furious than before, but decided to give the gay guy one last chance.
Again they walk and for the third time Pete drops his keys, so he bends over and picks them up. The gay guy, having no self control jumps on him. Pete is now fed up and sends the gay guy straight to hell.
A few weeks later, Saint Pete goes down to hell for his more...

A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, "You've been a good cat all of these years. Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask."
The cats says, "Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors." God says, "Say no more." And instantly, a fluffy pillow appears. A few days later, 6 mice are killed in a tragic accident and they go to Heaven. God meets them at the gate with the same offer that He made the cat.
The mice said, "All our lives we've had to run. We've been chased by cats, dogs and even women with brooms. If we could only have a pair of roller skates, we wouldn't have to run anymore." God says, "Say no more." And instantly, each mouse is fitted with a beautiful pair of tiny roller skates.
About a week later, God decides to check and see how the cat is doing. The cat is sound asleep on his new pillow. God gently wakes him and more...

A cattleman from West Texas died & went on to the Great Beyond. As he approached the great gate, he noticed that the terrain was bare with no greenery. He remarked to the gate keeper, "Howdy Saint Peter. Say, this looks just like Texas." "The gatekeeper replied, "First of all, I'm not Saint Peter and second, you really don't know where you are at all, do you? "

A cattleman from West Texas died & went on to the Great Beyond. As he approached the great gate, he noticed that the terrain was bare with no greenery. He remarked to the gate keeper, "Howdy Saint Peter. Say, this looks just like Texas.""The gatekeeper replied, "First of all, Im not Saint Peter and second, you really dont know where you are at all, do you? "

Standing at the pearly gates of heaven, Albert noticed pointing to two paths.
One was marked "Women" and the other marked "Men". He took the path assigned to
men.
There were two more paths, one marked "Married Men", the other "Unmarried Men".
Because Albert had been married he took the corresponding path and then came
upon two more gates.
The right-hand gate had a sign that read "Men Who Were Dominated By Their
Spouses"; the other gate read "Men Who Were Not Dominated By Their Spouses". The
first gate had an endless line of chaps waiting, but only one little guy stood
before the second gate.
Albert found this very interesting, so he walked up to the little guy standing
all alone and asked, "Why are you standing at this gate, a little guy like you?"
The smallish fellow replied, "I have not any clue. My wife told me to stand
here."

Standing at the pearly gates of heaven, Albert noticed pointing to two paths. One was marked "Women" and the other marked "Men". He took the path assigned to men.
There were two more paths, one marked "Married Men", the other "Unmarried Men". Because Albert had been married he took the corresponding path and then came upon two more gates.
The right-hand gate had a sign that read "Men Who Were Dominated By Their Spouses"; the other gate read "Men Who Were Not Dominated By Their Spouses". The first gate had an endless line of chaps waiting, but only one little guy stood before the second gate.
Albert found this very interesting, so he walked up to the little guy standing all alone and asked, "Why are you standing at this gate, a little guy like you?"
The smallish fellow replied, "I have not any clue. My wife told me to stand here."

Standing at the pearly gates of heaven, Albert noticed pointing to two paths. One was marked "Women" and the other marked "Men".
He took the path assigned to men and then came upon two more gates.
The right-hand gate had a sign that read "Men Who Were Dominated By Their Spouses"; the other gate read "Men Who Were Boss And Dominated Their Spouses". The first gate had an endless line of guys waiting, but only one little guy stood before the male domination gate.
Albert was undecided, so he walked up to the little guy standing all alone and asked, "Why are you standing at this gate, a little punk like you?"
The smallish fellow replied, "I haven't a clue. My wife told me to stand here."