Gay Jokes / Recent Jokes

TOP TEN RESONS TO BE A NEW ZEALANDER
1 RUGBY
2 YOU PLAY RUGBY AND HAVE YOUR HEAD BETWEEN TO OTHER PLAYERS ARSES AND STILL THINK YOU ARE NOT GAY
3 STILL PLAYING RUGBY KEEP LIFTING PLAYER FROM CRUTCH OF THERE LEGS WITH YOUR HANDS AND STILL THINK THAT YOU ARE NOT GAY
4 IF YOU ARE THE INDIGENOUS NATIVE YOU CAN WELCOM VISITOR'S BY SHOWING YOUR ARSE TO THEM
5 AFTER SHOWING YOUR ARSE YOU CAN RUB YOUR RUNNY NOSE ON THER NOSE.
6 YOU CAN BE THE WOMEN PRIME MINISTER AND STILL ONLY WEAR MALE PANTS TO EVERY PLACE YOU GO.
7 CAN BE THE SHEEP SHEARING CHAMPION OF THE WORLD
8 CAN BE THE GUM BOOT THROWING CHAMPION OF THE WORLD
9 THINK THREE COURSE MEAL IS BREAD BUTTER AND JAM
10 IF YOU CAN BE RELATED TO THE INDIGENOUS PEOPLE OF THE COUNTRY WITH GOVERNEMENT ASSISTENCE YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORK EVER.

We got off the Titanic first. We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses. Our boyfriend`s clothes make us look elfin gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers. We can cry and get off speeding fines. Taxis stop for us. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free moving (you get the point). We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we`re gay. We don`t have to fart to amuse ourselves. If we forget to shave, no one has to know. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there. If we`re dumb, some people will find it cute. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems. Gay waiters don`t make us uncomfortable. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.

From the Sydney Morning Herald

An employee for Ansett Australia, who happened to have the surname GAY, got on a plane recently using one of his company's "Free Flight" programs. However, when Mr. Gay tried to take his seat, he found it being occupied by a paying passenger. So, not to make a fuss, he simply chose another seat.

Unknown to Mr. Gay, another Ansett Australia flight at the airport
experienced mechanical problems. The passengers of this other flight were being rerouted to various other flights. A few were put on Mr. Gay's flight and anyone who was holding a "free" ticket was being "bumped".

Ansett officials, armed with a list of these "freebee" ticket holders, boarded the plane to remove the free ticket holders. Of course, our Mr. Gay was not sitting in his assigned seat as you may remember. So when the Ticket Agent approached the seat where Mr. Gay was supposed to be sitting she asked a startled more...

If God had wanted people to be gay... he would've made Adam & Steve instead of Adam & Eve.

Long, but really funny... from a Company in USA. DATE: October 01, 2003RE: Christmas Party I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1: 00pm. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10. 00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees! Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time! Merry Christmas to you and your family. Patty =============================================================== FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: October 02, 2003 RE: Holiday Party In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our more...

Little Johnny goes up to his mother and asks, "Is God male or female?" After thinking for a moment, his mother responds, "Well, honey, God isboth male and female." This confuses Little Johnny, so he asks, "Is God black or white?" "Well, God is both black and white." This further confuses him so he asks, "Is God gay or straight?" At this the mother is getting concerned, but answers nonetheless,"Honey, God is both gay and straight." At this Little Johnny? s face lights up with understanding and he triumphantly asks, "Mom, is God Michael Jackson?"

When I went to the store with my son, we've seen a box off cover up you grays and he said: momma cover up the r and it says cover up gays
it turns out the casher was gay
ooopppsss