Gay Jokes / Recent Jokes

One morning, this gay man woke up from a wonderful dream, only to hear his partner in the bathroom making grunting and moaning sounds. The gay man got out of bed, walked down the hall and opened the bathroom door. The gay man looked at his partner, masturbating with a condom on.

"What the hell are you doing???" he asked his partner.

The gay man's partner looked up at him sheepishly, "Oh... I was just packing your lunch!"

Once, a gay man went to heaven. At the Great Gate, Saint Peter was waiting for him. After rewieving his records Saint Pete decided to let him in. "Follow me" he said, opening the gate and walking in.
After some walk, Saint Pete's keys accidentally fell on the ground. Unaware, he bent over to pick up the keys. That was something the gay man just couldn't resist, so he jumped on him and did his thing. Saint Pete was furious. "If you do that again, You'll go straight to hell! But follow me, we're almost there."
After some more walk, Pete dropped his keys again, and again, the gay man jumped on him. Saint Pete was even more furious than before, but decided to give the gay guy one last chance.
Again they walk and for the third time Pete drops his keys, so he bends over and picks them up. The gay guy, having no self control jumps on him. Pete is now fed up and sends the gay guy straight to hell.
A few weeks later, Saint Pete goes down to hell for his more...

A guy walks into a bar … once inside, he realizes it’s a gay bar, but he decides, “What the heck, I really want a drink. ”
So he sits down at the bar, and the gay bartender says to him, “What’s the name of your penis? ”
The guy says, “Look, I’m not into any of that. All I want is a drink. ”
The gay bartender says, “I’m sorry, but I can’t serve you until you tell me the name of your penis. ”
So the guy looks at the man sitting to his left who is sipping on a beer and asks, “Hey bud, what’s the name of your penis? ” The man to left, with a smile, looks back and says, “TIMEX. ”
The guy asks, “Why Timex? ” The fella proudly replies, “Cause it takes a lickin’ and keeps on tickin’! ”
A little shaken, the guy turns to the fella on his right sipping on a fruity margarita, “So, what do you call your penis? ” The man to his right turns to him and proudly exclaims, “FORD, because quality is Job 1?, he then more...

A guy came into a bar one day and said to the bartender, "Give me six double vodkas."

The bartender says, "Wow! you must have had one hell of a day."

"Yes, I''ve just found out my older brother is gay."

The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I''ve just found out that my younger brother is gay too!"

On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender said, "Jesus! Doesn''t anybody in your family like women?"

"Yeah, my wife..."

This gay guy walks into the bar and says,? Bartender I am gay but I would like to stay and have a drink?
So he replied? Ok, you can stay if you go to the end of the bar and not mess with anyone. ”
So the guy accepted and walked away.
A little while after that a big John Wayne Character walks in as says? Bartender, I’d Like a brew sky. ”
Well, the bartender gave it to him and the Character drank it in one sip.
He slammed down the mug and said? I fell like a stud bull! ” and the gay guy said, ”Mooo! ”

A man walks into a bar and immediately realizes its a gay bar. He thinks to himself I'm not gay but I really want to to drink so he walks up to the bar. The bartender asks "What is the name of your penis?" The man says "Man get outta my face I'm not like that, just gimme a beer." The bartender replies,"I'm sorry sir but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your penis." The man says, "Okay then what's the name of your penis?" The bartender replies "Mine is named Nike, You know Just Do it. The man thought for a moment then replied "Mine is named Secret." The bartender replied "Secret??" The man explained you know, Strong enough for a man, made for a woman."

This guy walks into a bar and two steps in realizes it's a gay bar, but decides, "What the heck, I really want a drink." When the gay waiter approaches he says to the guy, "What's the name of your penis?" Guy: Look, I'm not into any of that. All I want is a drink. Waiter: I'm sorry, but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your penis. Mine for instance is called' Nike" for the slogan' Just Do It' That guy down at the end of the bar calls his' Snickers' because' It Really Satisfies'. The guy looks dumbfounded, so the waiter says he'll give him a couple of minutes to think it over. So the guy turns to the man on his left and asks, "Hey, bud, what's the name of your penis?" Other customer: Timex! First guy: Why Timex? Other guy: Because it takes a lickin and keeps on tickin! A little shaken, he turns to the guy on his right. First guy: What's the name of your penis? Second guy: Ford! Because quality is job #1! Have you driven a Ford lately? more...