Gay Jokes / Recent Jokes
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what "they" call it: the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that.
KEN STARR:
I intend to prove that the chicken crossed the road at the behest of the President of the United States of America in an effort to distract law enforcement officials and the American public from the criminal wrongdoing our highest elected official has been trying to cover up. As a result, the chicken is just another pawn in the president's more...
Two gay gentlemen are walking through a zoo. They come across the gorillas and after a while they notice that the male gorilla has a massive erection.
The gay men are fascinated by this. One of the men just can't bear it any longer and he reaches into the cage to touch it. The gorilla grabs him, drags him into the cage and mates with him for six hours nonstop. When he's done, the gorilla throws the man back out of the cage.
An ambulance is called and the man is taken away to the hospital. Next day his friend visits him in the hospital and asks, "Are you hurt?"
"AM I HURT?", he shouts, "Wouldn't you be? He hasn't called, he hasn't written...
Q: What's the difference between erotic and kinky?
A: Erotic is when you use a feather; kinky is when you use the
whole chicken.
Q: How can you tell if a bank robber is gay?
A: He ties up the safe and blows the guard.
Q: How can you tell if you're in a gay church?
A: Only half the congregation is kneeling.
Q: How can you tell the difference between a straight rodeo
and a gay rodeo?
A: At a straight rodeo they yell "Ride them suckers!"
Q: What's the difference between a freezer and a fag?
A: A freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
Q: Whats the most popular pick up line in a gay bar?
A: "May I push in your stool?"
Q: Which is better, being born black or gay?
A: Black, because you don't have to tell your parents.
Q: How can you spot the blind guy in a nudist colony?
A: It's not hard.
Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs, with a ten
inch penis?
A: more...
There once was a successful rancher who died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was determined to keep the ranch and make a go of it, but she knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for ranch hands. Two men applied for the job... One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied, she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk. He turned out to be a fantastic worker, worked long hard hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing really well. Then one day the rancher's wife said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good job and we've both done nothing but work for weeks. The ranch looks great, and I'm taking Saturday night off and going into town to kick up my heels and paint the town red, and I think you should do the same." The hired hand agreed readily, more...
You are all probably familiar with the lunacy that happens in New York City every spring when the gay group wants to march in the St. Patrick's Day Parade, and the Ancient Order of Hibernians (or the Ancient Order of Hibernators, as we call them) won't let them in.
Having had some experience with elderly Irish relatives, my take on the situation is that it isn't that the group is "gay" that bugs them. Half of them don't even know what gay people are.
It's the fact that they can see that word "homosexual" has the word "sex" in it that bugs them.
One day a guy who's name was joe walked into to a bar really sad.
So the Bar tender said trying to be nice "What's wrong?". So the Joe said I just found out my brothers gay so the bartender said don't worry just pretend he isn't your brother so Joe said O. K and left a happy man.
The next day he came in again and told the bartender how he found out his other brother was gay so the bartender gave him the same advice and so Joe left a little happier.
The day after that he came in again and told the bartender how he found out his dad was gay so the bartender said "Man isn't there anybody in your family that likes girls?". So Joe answered "Ya... my mom."
-Neeljoe
An employee of USAir with the last name of Gay boarded a US Air flight with a free travel voucher. Soon after he sat down, someone else came and claimed he had the same seat assignment, so Mr. Gay moved down do an empty seat.
Soon after that the airplane began to fill up. The rule with the US Air employee vouchers is that if a paying customer needs your seat, you have to surrender it. So when the flight became completely full and still more needed to get on, a flight attendant went to the original seat of Mr. Gay and said the the man now sitting there, "Excuse me, are you Gay?"
The man, somewhat stunned, said, "Well, yes, as a matter of fact I am!"
The flight attendant said, "I'm sorry, but you'll have to get off the plane."
At this point Mr. Gay, who had been watching all of this, jumped up and said, "Excuse me, you've made a mistake - I'm Gay!"
Finally, another man jumped up and said, "Well, hell, I'm gay too! more...