Geezer Jokes

After marrying a sweet young woman, a 90-year-old
geezer told his doctor that they were expecting a baby.
"Let me tell you a story," said the doctor.
"An absent-minded fellow went hunting, but instead of
a gun, he picked up an umbrella.
Suddenly a bear charged him. Pointing his umbrella
at the bear, he shot and killed it on the spot."
"Impossible!" the geezer exclaimed.
"Somebody else must have shot that bear."
"Exactly," replied the doctor.

After marrying a sweet young woman, a 90-year-old geezer told his doctor that they were expecting a baby.
"Let me tell you a story," said the doctor. "An absent-minded fellow went hunting, but instead of a gun, he picked up an umbrella. Suddenly a bear charged him. Pointing his umbrella at the bear, he shot and killed it on the spot."
"Impossible!" the geezer exclaimed. "Somebody else must have shot that bear."
"Exactly," replied the doctor.

An elderly gentleman had had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He finally went to a doctor one day, and he was fitted with an exceptional hearing aid.The old geezer returned a month later for a checkup, and the doctor remarked, "Your hearing is perfect! Your family must really be pleased that you can hear again."The old geezer replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to their conversations... and in that time I've changed my will three times!"

Moses, Jesus and some' ol geezer were going to play a round of golf. Moses teed off, the ball went right into the pond. "No problem!" he said. Moses walked over, parted the water, and hit the ball again. This time it landed about one foot from the hole.
Jesus then teed off and the ball went flying off to the left, hit a tree, then miraculously bounced within about six inches of the hole.
The' ol geezer stepped up and teed off. As the ball headed right for the pond, a huge bass jumped up and grabbed the ball in its mouth. Suddenly an eagle swooped down, grabbed the bass and flew over the green. The bass dropped the ball and it rolled within two inches of the hole! All of the sudden, a worm popped up and knocked the ball in. A hole in one.
Moses looked at Jesus and said, "You know, I really hate it when your dad plays."

It was the stir of the town when an 80 year old man married a young, twenty year old woman.
A year later, she went into the hospital to give birth. The nurse walked into the waiting room and congratulated the old fellow. "This is amazing. How do you do it at your age?" The old geezer answered, "You've got to keep that old motor running."
The following year, the young woman gave birth again. Once again, the same nurse approached the old guy and begged the question, "How do you do it?"
Again, he replied, "You've got to keep the old motor running."
Well, sure enough, another year passed and the young woman gave birth yet again. The nurse said to the old fellow, "I don't get it - you must be quite a man." The old geezer again reasoned, "You've got to keep that old motor running."
"Well," said the nurse, "you'd better change the oil in that old motor because this one's black!"