Gender Jokes / Recent Jokes
Ever notice how so many of women's problems can be traced to the male gender?
MENstruation, MENopause, MENtal breakdown, GUYnecology, HIMmorrhoids...
Ever notice how so many of women's problems can be traced to the male gender? MENstruation, MENopause, MENtal breakdown, GUYnecology, HIMmorrhoids...
What guys say.... ..What they mean... ---------------------------------------------------------------------- It is just orange juice, try it. 3 more shots, and she'll have her legs around my head. She's kind of cute I want to bang her till I am blue I don't know if I like her She won't blow me I need you My hand is tired I had her I had (wet dreams about) her all week I really want to get to know you. ..so I can tell my friends about better it How do I compare with all your Is my penis really that small? other boyfriends? You're the only girl I've ever You are the only girl who has not cared about rejected me I want you back. ..for tonight anyway We've been through so much together If it was not for you, I never would have lost my virginity I miss you so much I am so horny that my roommate is starting to look good No, I do not want to dance right now Shoot! She'll know that I have a hard-on The break-up should not start I want to have sex a few more times for another 24 hours I am more...
We all know that men are not quite as adept at fashion as women. In fact guys will pretty much wear anything, anytime, with anything. This creates the false impression that guys just "throw" any old thing on. This however is not the case. As this handy little guide points out, getting dressed is a highly complex and organized ritual for men. The Male Guide to Selecting an Outfit --------------------------------------- ---------- ----------- ------------------- | Are there| No | Are there | "What's a | Are there clothes | |clothes in|---->|clothes in | hamper?" | strewn in random | | dresser? | |the hamper?|----------->|piles on the floor?| ---------- ----------- ------------------- | Yes | Yes | Yes | No +------------------------------------ V | ------- V | Buy | --------------- | more | | Take whatever | |clothes| | is on top | ------- --------------- ------------------------- | | | V V | -------- No --------- ----------- | Is |------------>| Perform | more...
A language instructor was explaining to her class that French nouns, unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine. Things like' chalk' or' pencil,' she described, would have a gender association although in English, these words were of neutral gender.
Puzzled, one student raised his hand and asked, "What gender is a computer?"
The teacher wasn't certain which it was, and so divided the class into two groups and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine. One group was composed of the women in the class, and the other of men. Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.
The group of women concluded that computers should be referred to in the masculine gender because:
1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
3. They are supposed to help you solve your more...
WOMEN? S LANGUAGE TRANSLATEDYes = NoNo = YesMaybe = NoI? m sorry. = You? ll be sorry. We need... = I wantIt? s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now. Do what you want... = You? ll pay for this later. We need to talk... = I need to complain Sure... go ahead = I don? t want you to. I? m not upset = Of course I? m upset, you moron! You? re so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot. You? re certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about? Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs. This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house. I want new curtains =. .. and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper..... Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there! I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep. Do you love me? = I? m going to ask for something expensive. How much do you love me? = I did something today you? re really not going to like. I? ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV. Am I more...