Geography Jokes / Recent Jokes

Dear Diary:

Aug. 1 - Moved to our new house in Maine. It is so beautiful here. The city is so picturesque. Can hardly wait to see it covered with snow. I LOVE IT HERE.

Oct. 14 - New England is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves are turning all different colors. I love the shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through the hills and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most peaceful animals on earth. This must be paradise. I LOVE IT HERE.

Nov. 11 - Deer season will open soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such an elegant creature. The very symbol of peace and tranquility. Hope it will snow soon. I LOVE IT HERE.

Dec. 2 - It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed in white. It looked like a postcard. Went outside and cleaned snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight today (I won). When the snowplow came by we had to shovel the driveway again. What a more...

Q: What state is round on each side and high in the middle?
A:Ohio!!

A Texan was visiting a Maine farmer ("fahmah"). The Texas rancher was boasting to his host about the size of his ranch: "I can get into my pickup truck and drive all day and still not reach the boundary of my ranch", he bragged.

The Mainer shook his head knowingly, and replied, "Aayuhh, I had a truck like that once"

Now this really is in poor taste...

The Allies have decided to take action against Saddam Hussein.
The Americans are sending 10,000 troops and two aircraft carriers.
The French are sending 4,000 Legionaries.
The British are sending 250 teenage au-pairs.

freek freek freek freek fereyf

Q: What do tourists pay guides to do at the grand canyon?

A: To let them mount their ass and ride in the crack!

Why does the wind always go west to east in Wyoming?
Because Nebraska sucks and Idaho blows.