Germans Jokes / Recent Jokes
A plane crashes on a desert island, with 15
survivors: 3 Italians (2 men and a woman), 3
French people (2 men and a woman), 3 Germans (you
get the picture), 3 Greeks and 3 Brits.
Six months later....
One Italian man had killed the other and was
living with the woman.
The French had a delightful menage a trois.
The Germans had established a strict
rotation: Hans on odd days, Franz on even.
The Greek men were living together and had
the woman doing the house work.
And the Brits. .. were still waiting to be
introduced to each other!
Reporter: Governor Clinton, what damage do you think has been done to your campaign by your wife`s comment the other day about how "Hitler was really a great guy"?
Clinton: (Mixture of sadness and anger, but articulate as always.) Hillary and myself are shocked, outraged, and deeply saddened by this terrible misunderstanding. The media hype is way out of proportion. You guys should know us by now--we would never say anything like that. And though she did say a few things about Germany she certainly didn`t mean anything offensive by her remarks, which I might add have been willfully and shamefully taken out of context and distorted. There is nothing in my life, or Hillary`s life, which can be construed as derogatory toward the German people. We honor them. Some of our best friends are Germans. My own grandmother was one-quarter German. And it certainly isn`t true that Germans are excluded from our country club. In my eleven years as Governor of Arkansas I was more...
man asks his da wats that on the side aff ur head his da repleys son ats my rubber ear !!! the son is baffeld in asks y has his dad got a rubber ear his da says cuz the germans bit it off the sons asks y did the germans bit it aff the dad says cuz the hte germans eat ear then the son asks y did it luk nice 2 them n he repleyd cuz the germans lv ears qurs n tiddy bears and dears ats y they bit it aff the fuckin dirty smeely lukin bastards k.a.t.u.t.h. f.t.p.s.n.i. woodvale 2005
In early years of World War II, three soldiers were captured by the Germans and thrown into prison.
However, the guard was rather kind towards them, and said, "I am going to lock you away for five
years, but I'll let you have anything you want now before I lock you away."
The first one says, "I'll have five years' supply of beer!" His wish is granted, and they lock him
away with his beer.
The second one says, "I'll have five years' supply of brandy!" His wish is granted, and they lock him
away with his brandy.
The third one says, "I'll have five years' supply of cigarettes!" His wish is granted, and they lock
him away with his cigarettes.
Five years later, toward the end of the war, the Germans come to release the three prisoners. First,
they release the one who asked for beer. He staggers out totally drunk. Then, they release the one
who asked for brandy. He also rolls out rather more...
Q: How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast?
A. They marched in backwards and the Polish thought they were leaving.
Do you know why Germans build such high-quality products?So they won`t have to go around being nice while they fix them.
This elderly Italian guy goes to his parish priest and asked if he would hear his confession. The priest assured him that he would, and the two took up the customary positions on either side of the divider." Well, Father," began the old man, "At the beginning of World War II a beautiful Jewish woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans. So I hid her in my attic, and they never found her." "That's a wonderful thing," interjected the priest, "But it's certainly nothing you need to confess!" "It's gets worse Father," continued the elderly fellow, "I was weak and I told her that she had to repay me for hiding her, by providing me with sexual favors." The priest contemplated this disclosure for a minute and then responded, "Well, it was a very difficult time, and you took a very large risk. You would have suffered terribly at their hands if the Germans had found you hiding her. I know that God, in his more...