Gevalt Jokes

'Twas the night before Chanukah, boychiks and maidels,
Not a sound could be heard, not even the dreidels.
The menorah was set on the chimney, just right,
In the kitchen my Bubbe hut gechapt a bite.
Salami, pastrami, a glessala tay
and zayerah pickles with bagels, oy vay!
Gezunt and geschmacht, the kindelech felt,
while dreaming of tegelach and Chanukah gelt.

The clock on the mantle it sure was a tickin',
and Bubbe was serving a schtickala chicken.
A tumult arose like a thousand bruchas,
Santa had fallen and broken his tuchas.
I put on my slippers, eins, tsvay, drei,
while Bubba was now on the herring and rye.
I grabbed my robe and buttoned my gotkes,
While Bubbe was so busy, devouring those latkes.

To the window I ran and to my surprise,
A little red yarmulke greeted my eyes.
When he got to the door and saw our menorah,
"Yiddishe kinder," he said, more...

Just see those Dreidels turning
And candles burning all night
Why it's that Chanukah time
We (Jews) call the Festival of Light.
I'm busy buying Chachkes
And frying Latkes for you (and you and you)
Come on, there's lots of bargains
At Saks Fifth Avenue.
Bridge 1
Oy Gevalt, Oy Gevalt, Oy Gevalt, you know,
I'm sick of the snow
I'm dreaming of a warmer place to go.
Gonna shlep, gonna shlep the family
They're comin' with me.
We'll celebrate Chanukah on the beaches of Miami.
With all the colds they're catching
My friends are kvetching, "Oy Vey!"
Let's have our agent book us
And fly our tuchus away.
Bridge 2
There's a shabbas dinner at the house of Rabbi Cohen
It'll be the perfect evening in a kosher home
We'll be noshing on foods we love to eat and maybe take a snooze
Then sit on the couch and eat some more and schmuz
Schmuz, schmuz, schmuz.
Then the rabbi more...